Years ago when we each had our first little girl, we all had hopes and dreams for her. Many of us prayed she would be a woman of the LORD, a Proverbs 31 woman with a meek and quiet spirit. We prayed she would one day be a godly wife for a godly husband. We’ve prepared her for this. But for many of us, we’re still waiting, she’s still waiting.
We told our girls who have heart’s desire to marry that they should, “Wait on the LORD to bring you a husband. It needs to be the right man, and the right time, God’s time.” And while I agree with that teaching in some ways, in other ways it is creating older daughters who are still unmarried at 32.
This is a colossal concern for those of us who hope to raise children who will grow up, marry, and have children to raise as arrows in the hands of a mighty warrior for the Kingdom of God. We can’t fight the enemy at the gates if our kids don’t have a family, and families start with marriage.
We know marriage is in decline, and the rates continue to drop each year. Less and less of our adult children are getting married, and the age of marriage is rising as well. Biologically speaking, this is alarming as we are all well aware that the older a woman gets, the fewer children she will have, and if she waits until she’s 40+ to marry, the chances of her having any children are rare indeed.
So, what are the answers here? We can’t just send our daughters out to marry any Christian guy, and we don’t encourage the girls to do the pursuing. Prayer is essential, yes, but we can’t leave it at that. “Faith without works is dead,” says James 2:17. We as parents, (husband and wife), need to be looking out for young men.
We should be taking our daughters to places where young, godly men can “find” them. “He who *finds* a wife, finds a good thing,” Proverbs 18:22. We can invite families over for hamburgers and volleyball, summer’s coming you know! We can visit other churches. We can attend family camps and Christian conferences.
What I’m saying is this: In our country, with marriage at an all time low, we need to realize that we (Mom and Dad) can’t just sit back and wait for the LORD to supernaturally bring a wonderful young man into the lives of our daughters, with no activity on our part. We need to be about God’s business. God designed marriage, marriage is the norm for God’s children, and in our culture of anti-marriage, we must take an active role in this area of our children’s lives.
And I know, sometimes even in our best efforts our daughters may still not marry at an early age. But we parents can’t overlook this very important aspect of raising our children.
What advice or suggestions can you give other Moms with daughters? What have you done with your daughters in this area? If you’re newly married, how did your parents help?
