Sin Grown Up

Posted on 3 September 2010 by Sarah Mae | 13 responses

“Mommy! Grace got a cookie!” My three-year-old, Emma, announced with chubby arms crossed and indignant lips pursed. “It was really big. You want me to go get her for you?”

Fighting the urge to be amused, I scooped Emma up and headed for the bathroom mirror. There I showed my sweet little tattle-tale her own reflection and the chocolate liberally smeared across her guilty face.

Emma’s eyes widened as she saw her sin exposed. She immediately burst into tears and cried, “Oh Mommy, Grace didn’t mean to do it!” Suddenly, my young daughter was very concerned over how much mercy her sister would receive for her transgression! It’s funny how merciful we become when we realize our own sinfulness and how deserving we are of the same punishment we’ve been hoping for someone else!

Unknown to Emma, Grace had permission to eat the cookie. Emma did not have all the facts. If she would have confronted Grace first, she would have discovered the truth and avoided falling into her own trap. Also, the cookie was not “really big” it was the same size as the others. As is typical with a tattler, Emma was exaggerating, wanting the sin to appear bigger than it actually was.
Our children are given to us to train up in the way they should go. As parents, we must remember that our day to day family life is training ground (practice) for the future. God willing, our children will one day function in their own families, workplaces, and churches. Left unchecked, the sins we see in them today, will be the sins we see in them as adults—only the sins, along with our children, will have “grown up.”

The child who is allowed to enjoy tattling now, will one day be the adult who has developed a habit and taste for gossip—both by spreading it himself and by allowing the “tasty morsels” to enter his own ears—and soul. (Proverbs 11:9, 18:8)

The heart of gossip

We can help our children to examine their hidden motives for tattling. There is always a motive behind sin and it almost always boils down to some form of pride.

Envy: There may be an element of envy involved and the fact that the “sinner” has apparently been caught gives the tattler some sort of bitter satisfaction. One who spreads or listens to gossip is taking sinful delight in the transgressions of another. Many times it may even appear irrelevant whether or not the morsel of gossip is true or proven. Somehow, it makes us feel better about ourselves to learn that someone else slipped up; and the gossip can seem especially delicious if we are secretly envious of that person.

A child who rarely violates the rules may be a “great catch” to those children who seem to always get caught in sin themselves. Children must be taught early that it is wicked to delight in the sins of others and to spread potentially slanderous information; they must remember they will someday give account for every idle word. (Matthew 12:36)

Arrogance: Another motive may be a simple matter of putting someone down in order to make the gossiper look better—arrogant pride. One day one of my children had been disciplined for an offense and her sibling boasted, “Mother, I would never do what so-and-so did.” Instead of receiving the expected praise from me, I said, “Well, at least she’s humble and repentant and not prideful and deceived.” Children should be encouraged to consider their own propensity to sin when the sin of another is exposed. Never allow them the deceptive thrill of feeling better than someone else.
“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’

“And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’

“I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”” (Luke 18:9-14)

Notice in 1 Peter that being a busybody in other men’s matters is put alongside being a murderer and a thief.
But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters. 1 Peter 4:15

Teach your children to avoid those who gossip as much as they would avoid a murderer and a thief. Too many times the gossiper has an audience because there are others who want to feel less guilty of their own sin. “If she did THAT, then maybe I’m not so bad after all.” Teach your children the danger of associating with those who tattle and gossip. Proverbs 20:19

Egotism: Many times the gossiper simply enjoys being the center of attention and relishes the status of being the one “in the know.” These types of gossipers like to dig up information and make it their business to “inform” others.” Seldom do they consider their own sinfulness. (Matthew 7:3-5) One who spreads gossip this way usually acts as the judge, jury, and executioner all rolled into one!

An ungodly man digs up evil, and it is on his lips like a burning fire. Proverbs 16:27
This is especially dangerous today with the ease of the Internet. There is no longer a need to physically go from house to house. (1Timothy 5:13) I can gossip comfortably from my own kitchen table. Chat rooms, blogs, email lists, and websites (even those labeled as Christian) can be hotbeds of gossip and slander.
While dinner burns, my children careen out of control, laundry piles up, and reputations are destroyed, my keyboard can smoke! You too can become an expert Internet busybody!
For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies…
2 Thessalonians 3:11

Teach Your Children to be Fire Fighters!

Where no? wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth. Proverbs 26:20

Start a contained fire and slowly remove the “fuel” demonstrating to your child how a fire goes out if it is not continuously fed. Also point out how consuming and destructive a fire is. What is left of the wood that was burned? Does it look the same? Can it ever be restored? Show how Scripture compares the tongue to a raging fire. (James 3:5-12)

Biblical Confrontation or Revenge? When dealing with children who have offended one another, try to remember that this is training (practice) for the future. How will they handle disagreements and offenses with those in their lives as adults? Will they complain to others without confronting their brother? They must learn to work things out according to Matthew 18 or they will be prone to bitterness, slander, and gossip.

The New Testament approach to confronting sin and orderly church discipline is found in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 18:

Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. Matthew 18:15-17
Gossip ignores the peace-seeking order of Matthew 18 and jumps straight to “tell it to the church.” As parents we should point to the order of Matthew 18 to teach our children how to work out fellowship with one another. Doorposts has created a helpful resource for parents in teaching this concept. It is a chart and book set called the Brother-Offended Checklist.

Search me, Oh God!

Teach your children to consider their own sin before confronting sin in another. (Matthew 7:3-5) They must also understand that our hearts are desperately wicked, (Jeremiah 17:9, 10) therefore, we can easily deceive ourselves. Teach them to ask God to search their hearts and reveal to them hidden sins, giving them the ability to repent and properly confront their brother. (Psalm 139:23, 24; 51:10)

Point out that God does not instruct us to simply notice our own plank, but, instead to remove it. Likewise, he does not allow us to leave the speck in our brother’s eye, but to make sure we can see clearly first, before attempting to remove it.

In young children, a confrontation of this sort may need the oversight of a parent. Gently guide them in their confrontation without taking over the situation. The goal is to teach them to handle things biblically without immediately involving others.

Our children must also realize that their unrepentant sin might hinder their credibility in the confrontation. If my little daughter would have confronted her sister of her cookie-stealing, how effective would her reproof have been? One look at Emma’s chocolate smeared mouth and her sister would have burst into laughter, “Who are you to tell me what I should be doing?” Or better yet, maybe she would have heard her mother’s voice saying, “First remove the chocolate from your own face, and you’ll be better able to remove it from your sister’s!

Growing Peace Makers

Tale Bearing

When a child tattles, resist the temptation to listen. Ask your child the following questions:

1. Is any person or property in danger of being harmed? (Explain to your child the difference between tattling, gossiping, and informing you of an imminent disaster!)

2. Does this matter have anything to do with you? If he reported to you a matter that is none of his business, confront him with the sin of gossip.

3. Have you examined your own heart and sin in the matter? This may be difficult if he is angry or emotional. You may need to require him to take five minutes of quiet time to pray and consider the matter.

4. Were you personally offended? If so, have you gone to your brother alone first? If he has been personally offended and has not followed biblical order (including personal examination of sin), send him back to his brother. Remind him that the goal is to seek peace. (Romans 12:18)

Satan would love nothing more than to see us destroy ourselves from within. Gossip, slander, backbiting, envy, unforgiveness, bitterness, and hate—none of these things have any place in the life of a Christian. Yet, every day I hear of another witness being ruined. I learn of reputations being destroyed, marriages being harmed, children being disillusioned, ministries being slandered, churches being split—and I wonder how God must be grieved.

Let us teach our children the difference between confronting sin (with the goal of repentance and restoration) and doing a victory dance when the imperfections of others are revealed. Teach them to grieve over the sin of a sibling, to pray, to confront them biblically, and to rejoice in his repentance. Teach them that gossip spreads like a raging fire, consumes reputations, destroys friendships, and wounds and scars its’ victims forever. Teach them to seek peace and never allow them to hide behind a pious mask of deception, while secretly enjoying the failures of others. Remember that tattlers grow up to be gossipers, and peace makers…well, they grow up to be peace makers.

By His Grace,
Stacy McDonald, Your Sacred Calling

(Posted, with permission, by Sarah Mae)

This article appears in the current issue of Homeschooling Today magazine 2007

“Mommy, Am I Beautiful?”

Posted on 2 September 2010 by Laura | 24 responses

It seems to me, that when a young woman knows the correct answer to this pivotal question, she uses her time more wisely, and she gives more generously. She enjoys godliness with contentment, which is great gain! A young woman who understands the secret of true beauty will build her home with supreme wisdom and fruitfulness.

In anticipation of this universal question of femininity, I memorized this poem that reflects the Proverbs 31 woman:

Beautiful faces are they that wear

The light of a pleasant spirit there.

Beautiful hands are they that do

Deeds that are noble, good, and true.

Beautiful feet are they that go

Swiftly to ease another’s woe.

I recited this little rhyme when my daughters were infants as I tickled their faces (”Beautiful faces…”), clapped their hands (”Beautiful hands…”), and jiggled their feet up and down (”Beautiful feet…”). Then, of course, I would tickle them like crazy afterwords.

Now that the little girls are getting older, this poem comes up as we’re getting ready in the morning. I recite it about the girls themselves; I recite it about myself.

It comes up when Viv points out her “favorite” female singer on the Super Strong God DVD. We say, “Wow! She really is pretty! Imagine if she’s just as beautiful on the inside!”

It comes up when the girls page through the American Girl catalog in search of their “wish list”. We remember Josefina’s willingness to serve her family; or Molly’s discovery about true friendship.

It comes up when Lia dons scarf, necklaces, tutu, sunglasses, and tap-shoes, spinning around to look for my approval. Of course I say, “You look lovely!” Then, I look for opportunities for her to serve her sister, father, and friends. When she does, I offer the same compliment, but with even more heart.

Every day, our daughters are making decisions about what truly makes someone beautiful.

And I want to be a part of their discovery.

I dare you to memorize the poem this week with your daughters. It’s catchy!

Homemaking Link-Up!

Posted on 1 September 2010 by Emily Rose Brookshire | 1 response

There are so many beautiful things about homemaking . . . and right here is the perfect place for us to encourage one another in this beautiful calling! Below you can share the link to a post or article on your blog about homemaking, whether it be about cleaning, character, cooking, etc.

To share a link to your post about homemaking, you can use the Linky below . . . just share your link (make sure the link goes directly to your post), title, and image (it’s easy)!

Don’t forget to link back here so that others can join in!

Box Mixes — Cooking in the Kitchen with My Girls

Posted on 31 August 2010 by Carmen | 16 responses

When you hear “homemaker” you probably don’t think “box mix” do you?  Well we do!  *smile*  We all have different seasons in life and if you are a busy momma a box mix can be a great help.  (I know cooking from scratch is much healthier and can be cheaper…I say “can” because I never buy a mix without a sale and coupon!)  We love to use cake and brownie  mixes in different ways.  I’ll share two recipes that my girls love to make using box mixes.

Cake Mix Cookies

1 package yellow cake mix
2 eggs
1/4 cup oil
Chips of any type…mini chocolate chips, butterscotch or peanut butter works great, too!

Drop rounded teaspoons onto a cookie sheet. Bake in a 350 degree pre-heated. Check on them at 6 minutes. You don’t want them to get too brown so check often. Like I’ve said before…ovens vary!

*Note: if the mix still seems too dry, add another Tsp. of oil.

Poke Cake

1 package white cake mix
water, vegetable oil and egg whites as called for on cake mix package
1 package (4-serving size) strawberry, or raspberry-flavored Jello (you can use lime or orange…any flavor, really)
1 cup boiling water
1/2 cup cold water
1 container (8 ounces) Cool Whip
fresh berries or fruit as a garnish

Preheat oven at 350 degrees. Make and bake cake as directed on package for 13×9 pan. Cool completely, about 1 hour.

Poke cake all over with a fork. Stir Jello and boiling water in a small bowl until smooth; stir in cold water. Ladle it over the cake. Refrigerate 2 hours. Frost with Cool Whip; garnish with fruit. Store covered in the refrigerator.

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A  box mix is the easy way I got my girls (ages 11, 10, 6, and 2) started in the kitchen “on their own”.   They are reading a recipe, but it’s short and simple.  They are measuring, but just a few things.  They are baking and have an end result.  It peaks their curiosity and pulls them in…makes them want to create more lovelies in the kitchen!

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Whether it be a box mix or from scratch the end goal is to “…provide food for her family…”  (Prov. 31:15) and to “watch over the affairs of her household” (Prov. 31:27).   Let’s help our daughters see the final goal.

Cooking from the Pantry: Oatmeal

Posted on 28 August 2010 by Robin | 10 responses

One of the things that I want my daughters to know how to do in the kitchen is to take a staple ingredient, understand how it works in a recipe, and be able to make several things with it. This helps make the most of our pantry items—makes them work overtime.

Oatmeal is one of those staples that most of us have in our pantry and can be used in many different ways.

There are several different types of oats available: rolled oats, quick oats, steel cut oats and instant oats. You can even buy oat groats and process them yourself using an Oat Flaker.

• Rolled oats (also known as Old-Fashioned oats) are thick and chewy when cooked. It takes 10-20 minutes to cook for oatmeal. Because of its thickness, it makes a good choice for making oatmeal in a crock-pot.

• Quick oats are a thinner flake and cook up quickly, generally in as little time as 3-5 minutes. They are a good choice for using in cookies, meatballs, meatloaves, etc.

• Steel-Cut oats (also called Irish oats) are oat groats that have been chopped. They take longer to cook than quick oats and also hold their shape well. These are also good for making oatmeal in the crock-pot.

• Instant oats are processed to make them cook “instantly.” These are the oats that are sold in pre-packaged individual serving sizes and come in a variety of flavors. The price and added preservatives can be a big draw back.

Here is a quick little experiment that I did and that you can do with your children to help teach them how to re-create a packaged item from the store and make it from scratch.

I was wanting to replicate the instant oats packages at home by making them from scratch. So after doing an internet search and finding several different recipes, I decided to do a little experiment and try out some of these different recipes and see which one was the best.

Here’s what you can do:

Start by getting some water to boiling. While that is heating up, take ¼ cup of quick oats and run them through the blender to pulverize them. Take out 4 cereal bowls and put ¼ cup of quick oats in each bowl. Then add 2 tablespoons of the pulverized oats to the first bowl, 1 tablespoon to the second bowl and none to the last two bowls. Add ½ cup of the boiling water to each of the first 3 bowls. Stir and let sit for 2 minutes. Add ½ cup cold water to the 4th bowl and microwave covered for 1 minute and then let that one sit for 2 minutes as well.

You can add a little brown sugar or maple syrup to each bowl, just make sure to add the same amount to each. Stir and then have a taste testing party. After tasting, you and your children can decide which recipe made the best instant oatmeal.

The favorite recipe can then be made up into several packets with the dry ingredients to have your own homemade instant oatmeal. Dried fruits, spices, and powdered milk can be added for variety. Store these in little plastic bags or make a large batch and store in a glass canning jar with directions.

Use this as a teaching tool on trying out recipes, making things from scratch, the importance of knowing what the ingredients are, and being frugal. Take a peek inside your pantry and see if there are any other items in there that might be able to be made from scratch.

If you are cooking gluten-free, be sure to look for gluten-free oats. While oats do not contain gluten they are often grown and processed alongside of wheat. The most inexpensive resource I have found so far for gluten-free oatmeal is through Amazon.

One of my family’s favorite recipes for oatmeal:

Baked Oatmeal

3 cups quick cooking oats
¾ cup sugar
1 cup milk
⅓ cup melted butter
2 eggs
2 tsp baking powder
¾ tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350° F. Combine all ingredients in mixing bowl and mix well. Spread batter into a greased 9 x 13 pan and bake for 25-30 minutes until golden brown.

Variations: Add 1 cup of chopped apples or other fruits or nuts. This is really good with a little milk poured over the top. You can also add additional toppings after baking as well.

Winner of “The Girlhood Home Companion” Give-Away

Posted on 28 August 2010 by Robin | No responses

The winner of “The Girlhood Home Companion Magazine and CD Bundle” is…….

Kelly!
(my aslaska 2)

This beautiful magazine is sure to be a blessing to you!

Thank you all for entering the give-away.

You are blessed! Really!

Posted on 27 August 2010 by Rhonda | 34 responses

This post is just to remind you that as a mother of children, you are blessed of God. Really…..I know the culture is screaming that you are overpopulating the earth if you have more than one or two. Christians also chime in, making sure you understand you are limiting your potential to serve the Lord because these kids will take up all your time. And let’s admit, even your own heart at times is whispering to you:  what does wiping noses and behinds accomplish anyway?

The only real and true answer is found in listening to the voice of the Creator who sends those blessings to us in the first place~

Need some affirmation?  Spend some time reading Psalm 127 & 128  where God talks of blessing the man/woman who fears Him with the fruit of the womb. Remember Rebekah when she went away to be the wife of Isaac? Didn’t her household ask God to bless her womb abundantly as a sign of His blessing on her life. The same can be said about the union of Ruth and Boaz. In the very beginning, God commanded his children to be fruitful and fill the earth~it wasn’t a sign of irresponsibility to have children, but rather a blessing to the earth and the people in it.

Somewhere along the way,  we, as a culture and even within the church,  have lost sight of the truth and embraced a lie. The truth is children are to be received with thanksgiving, realizing they are given as God’s heritage to us. These are little souls, that you and I have the privilege of shaping for God’s glory. Tune out the lies that rob you of life giving truth and be joyful that God has chosen to bless you!

Something Very Special…

Posted on 26 August 2010 by Sarah Mae | 1 response

…is being given away over at Simply Vintage Girl.  It’s…

“. . . well, I can’t tell you that part yet – because it’s still a secret.

But, the winner of this give-away will be one of the first to receive their own copy of our upcoming project (which, Lord willing, will be available next month)!

This giveaway will include more than that special item, and is in honor of our summer sale– the lowest prices of the season (and the year, for that matter)!”

Head on over to Simply Vintage Girl today to enter!

(I know what it is and let me just say it is FANTASTIC! You will want to win this giveaway!)

Homemaking Link-Up!

Posted on 25 August 2010 by Emily Rose Brookshire | 5 responses

There are so many beautiful things about homemaking . . . and right here is the perfect place for us to encourage one another in this beautiful calling! Below you can share the link to a post or article on your blog about homemaking, whether it be about cleaning, character, cooking, etc.

To share a link to your post about homemaking, you can use the Linky below . . . just share your link (make sure the link goes directly to your post), title, and image (it’s easy)!

Don’t forget to link back here so that others can join in!

P.S. You might want to check out these giveaways: The Daughters of His Story Paper Dolls (+ secret project) & The Girlhood Home Companion Magazine – hurry, they both end Friday!

The Beauty of Titus 2 (& give-away)

Posted on 23 August 2010 by Robin | 326 responses

(Some dear friends having a Titus 2 moment, June Fuentes and Sarah Mae)

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Titus 2:3-5

Ladies, do you long to find a Titus 2 woman to mentor you? Do you wish that you had someone to ask advice from? Or perhaps you are an older godly woman and you wonder who would be interested in what you could share.

It can seem rather frustrating and lonely, but I want to encourage you to take heart. You may not have a line of older godly women standing at your front door ready to assist you, and you may not have a large group of younger ladies hanging on your every word, but you do have God’s word and the opportunity to live out these beautiful passages.

There may be women in your church that may be hesitant to just offer advice, they may feel like they would be “intruding.” I want to encourage you younger women to ask questions and start conversations with the “older” godly ladies in your churches and in your communities. I also want to encourage the older ladies to be aware and look for ways to bless these younger women.

I think there has been such a disconnect between the generations due to so many programs at church where everyone is separated by age that we have forgotten how to integrate the ages and learn from each other. So instead of just letting it continue on this way, let us be the ones to approach the women of different ages and live this scripture out.

The beauty of Titus 2 is that it give us clear instructions on what we are to be teaching and what we are to be learning. Let these scriptures  guide us in our conversations. It may be a little awkward at first, but pray and ask the Lord to open up opportunities and help you to persevere.

Perhaps you are in a situation where you just are not aware of anyone yet who you can mentor or be mentored by, there are so many other ways to learn from godly women from reading their books, listening to online mentoring sessions and reading their blogs.

Of course, you can live out these scriptures right now by teaching and training your daughters to love and cherish family and home. Let the beauty of Titus 2 come alive and be blessed.

Here is a list of a few of my favorite resources that have encouraged me to keep on in my role as wife, mother and homemaker.

• Evenings with Victoria Botkin (9 hours – audio)

• Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Stacy McDonald and Jennie Chancey

• The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace

• Seasons of a Mother’s Heart by Sally Clarkson

• Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss

Give-Away *Giveaway now closed. Click here to find out who won!*

Another resource that has been a delight to my girls and me has been “The Girlhood Home Companion Magazine.” It is a beautiful, high-quality magazine produced by Jill Novak and her family of Remembrance Press. In it you will find stories and encouraging essays on being godly young ladies, recipes, crafts and even some paper dolls from my own daughters.

Mrs. Novak is graciously giving away a bundle that includes a back issue of “The Girlhood Home Companion Between Friends” and CD.

Leave a comment below to enter the give-away. For extra entries: facebook, tweet, blog, share the link to this give-away (make sure you leave a separate comment for each thing you do!). Give-away ends Friday, August 27th at midnight.

*Giveaway now closed. Click here to find out who won!*

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