We have a special guest post from The Modest Mom today…
As mothers, we have an awesome and exciting responsibility to teach our daughters what being a lady is all about. The best way we can teach them is to show them what it looks like by living it in our own lives.
One thing I am working on passing on to my young daughters is how to look like a lady. I want to show my daughters the attitude of modesty by the spirit I carry and by what I wear.
I was blessed to have a mother who taught me from a young age how to conduct myself as a lady. She saw the importance of raising her daughters to look feminine and modest. Having gone through experiences in life she regretted, she didn’t want us susceptible to the crude comments and gawks and stares of young men visually enjoying a young lady displaying her body for all to see.
At times I did not understand why my mother was so strict. Necklines had to be high, hemlines had to be low. But as a mother of young daughters now, I get it.
I want my daughters to grow up and earn respect from the men around them by how they act and dress.
So how do I show them what modesty looks like?
By being modest myself. You will notice I said by being modest. This, of course, includes looking modest as well as so much more.
By looking modest, I decided the easiest way to do this was to wear dresses and skirts most of the time. I actually have done this since I was 9, but made the decision as an adult to continue it. There are times where I feel pants are actually more modest because of the activity I’m doing, but for the most part I have found almost everything can be done in a skirt. I by no means think I’m extra holy or godly because I do this, it’s just the easiest solution I found in how to look modest. Plus, when I put a pair of jeans on, my children tell me I look like daddy, which is not how I want to look every day. 🙂
Concerning the looking part, here are a few check list points that I stop and consider when I am shopping and trying on clothes.
* When I bend over, does my shirt gape where everyone can see my undergarments?
* Can a baby/toddler easily pull my shirt down when they are on my lap?
* Even though a skirt might be long, is it skin tight in the back where every curve is shown and undergarment lines easily seen?
* When I sit down on the floor to play with my children, can I be covered up or will I be tugging at my skirt constantly to keep it down below my knees?
* How would I feel running into someone I know wearing this outfit?
It gets discouraging to go to the thrift store or department store and shop when it seems I have to put back 80% of what I try on. But I know it’s worth it. I don’t want to be the type of woman that makes men stop and gawk, and I definitely don’t want that happening with my young daughter present.
A recent solution I have found for the ever present problem of low cut shirts is this modest layering shell. Since it only goes below your bust line, I have been able to wear it while I’m pregnant, and can wear some really cute tops and dresses that I normally would not have been able to wear!
With winter time coming, the common problem I hear ladies say is they can’t wear dresses during the cold winter months. When I was a girl growing up in the 90’s, we took advantage of the popular stirrup leggings look, but wore them under our dresses. Now I wear knee highs and Cuddle Duds (which are so soft and warm) under my dresses, and can still look cute and fashionable, but modest! With young daughters it is very easy to find leggings to put under their dresses to keep them warm.
Now what about the other part of modesty? Outward appearance is so easy to focus on, but inward modesty is just as important. We can don the most conservative of outfits, and yet be proud and haughty towards others.
The Websters 1828 dictionary has an excellent definition of modesty.
“In females, modesty has the like character as in males; but the word is used also as synonymous with chastity, or purity of manners. In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle. Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honor.”
We are to be chaste, pure, and sweet. I would add, not lifted up in pride, not being loud, boastful, or trying to be the life of the party. These attitudes reflect those who have a modest spirit.
As females, let us rejoice in being ladies. Don’t be embarrassed by your femininity, rather embrace it and pass it on to your lovely daughters by your words, conduct, and appearance.
Caroline Allen is blessed to be the wife of her first and only love, and mother to four (soon to be five!) children seven and under. Thanks to the wonderful influence of her godly mother who went to be with the Lord last year, she is a homemaker and homeschooler. She has a business called The Modest Mom, where she offers feminine and fashionable maternity and women’s clothes. Caroline is also a consultant for Lilla Rose, where you can find beautiful hair clips and more. She blogs at The Modest Mom Blog, in between homeschooling little ones, doing dishes, and shipping orders for her business.
Thank you so much for sharing with us, Caroline!