Some days are just like that.
As mommies we know full well what it is like to have a grouchy day, so we manage to find mercy for our daughters when they are having the same kind of day. But, what do we do when our daughters seem to be having “that day” repeatedly?
While the world tells us grouchiness is just part of certain growing up years, I have a different perspective and can often be heard telling my daughters,
What you practice now, you will become later.
If insolence and complaining are practiced in your daughter’s younger years without restraint, you can guarantee she will struggle with these same things as an adult.
If finding fault and unbridled tongue-lashings often occur in her days as a youth, you better believe they will occur in her days as an adult.
The brunt of her grouchiness will move from her siblings to her parents to her husband to her children. She will feel discontent and out of sorts because no one truly wants to be like this, but because she practiced such things in her youth, her adult years will be fraught with bitterness.
As mothers, we should not accept grouchy girls as the norm. We must continually strive to teach our daughters to glorify the Lord in all things…our attitudes included.
But how do we foster a sweet spirit and attitude in our young daughters? Here are some ideas:
*Pray for her and over her. This is not a time for condemnation, but rather a time to speak into her life the things you know please the Lord. Rather than pray for her to quit yelling at her siblings, pray for her to continue to learn the art of a meek and quiet spirit. Always give her something to strive towards.
*Praise her when you see or hear good attitudes. Yes, you might embarrass her, but she needs to know you see the good in her and not just the bad.
*Model right behavior. Check your attitude, mama. Do you grouch around the house more often than you smile? Do you laugh? Do you enjoy the girls God has given you? Or are you grouchy too? Sometimes a daughter’s attitude is a direct reflection of her mother’s.
*Get to the root of the matter…if there is one. Not always is there an underlying cause of grouchiness, but sometimes there is and often if that can be addressed, the grouchiness goes away. For instance, our young daughter was upset over a move a few years ago, yet she wasn’t able to express that. Instead she was grouchy. As her mood got worse and worse, I finally realized what was going on and talked through everything with her, only to find my daughter completely changed simply by being able to identify what she was feeling.
*Never allow grouchy responses. You may have to model the correct vocal inflections or have her repeat exactly what you say and how you say it or ask her to try again many, many times, but do not allow grouchy responses. Again, she is practicing. Don’t let her practice the wrong thing.
*Do a character study of the Fruits of the Spirit. Teach your daughter about patience and kindness and self-control and what those words mean. There are a myriad of already put together studies of this kind, but you can do just as well reading through that passage of Scripture and simply talking about each component.
*Realize the fruits of the Spirit are the Fruits of the Spirit and you are not the Spirit. True fruit in your daughter’s life will only come from the Holy Spirit. You can disciple and lead and guide and direct, but ultimately, this is God’s work.
