Gentle hospitality is necessary in my life.  As a family with many children, it isn’t often we are in other people’s homes, and so the need for community and fellowship is usually filled by opening our home.  I’ve done the commando mama thing when everyone is in a rush and we’re struggling to get things *perfect* and everyone ends up stressed.  It isn’t any fun and it doesn’t glorify God and isn’t that what the atmosphere of our homes should be all about?  Gentle hospitality acknowledges the ways we all absorb our surroundings and prepares our hearts and homes for welcoming.

I often don’t have much notice that guests are coming.  There might be lessons spread on the table, dishes in the sink, blocks on the floor, and, heaven help me, – chicken poo on the walkway.

If guests are coming and it is daytime, choose one area of your home to host them. Perhaps the kitchen counter, the dining room table, or the living room.  If the weather is nice, our picnic tables under the trees are my choice spot.   If you have a few moments before your guests arrive, quickly clear up any clutter in your chosen area.  If  you’ve chosen to serve coffee in the kitchen wipe down the counter, if the dining room table is your spot, lay a fresh cloth. If it is evening, dim the lights and light candles. When I had four children under age four and there were constantly people in our home for ministry, I learned how to install dimmer switches for this express purpose. Lamp light is also very forgiving and sets a cozy mood.

Think through your home ahead of time, considering the best area for you to offer hospitality in a pinch.  Which area tends to be the easiest to tidy, the most convenient for serving drinks, the most comfortable for children to play…

The smell or scent of our homes may be the first thing people notice upon entering. My husband is sensitive to the artificial scents in most sprays or candles, so I like beeswax candles and airing out our throw pillows and curtains every so often by hanging them on the line.

Is our kitchen garbage brimming?  Are there dishes festering in the sink?  If you have time, deal with the bad smells but if not…

Always have frozen cookie dough in your freezer.  Any kind is great.  Mix it up, shape it on your cookie sheet and freeze it.  Pull the cookie sheet out and drop the balls of cookie dough into a freezer bag and back into the freezer they go.  They bake up right from the freezer as you need them, no need to thaw.  Not only will you have a handy treat to serve, but the smell of warm cookies baking was never done well in a candle.

If you bypass the cookies, offer your guests something to eat.  I’ve heard from friends in other parts of the country that this is more of a northern Italian community thing, feeding everyone who walks through our doors, but isn’t it a nice gesture?

On a bad day, the sense of touch in our home might be filled by crunchy floors.  We have six small children.  I grab the broom when I know guests are coming and even if that’s the only thing I can accomplish, I feel better.  A clean soft towel by the bathroom sink (again – dim lighting and a beeswax candle in the bathroom are lifesavers!), and a comfortable, clean place to sit are easy and quick.  Not everyone is a hugger, but a gentle touch on the arm is a nice way to welcome your guest.

My laptop is almost always on.  A quick click turns on music.  You can have at the ready fun, upbeat playlists or more soothin, gentle ones to cater to the mood of your day or tastes of your guests.

And if all else fails, a quick explanation of , “It”s just been one of those days, but I am SO glad you are here – you’ve made my day so much better!” is a beautiful way to welcome guests into your home.  Hospitality is more about what is issuing out of our hearts than the presentation of our homes.  So join me and my daughters this month is ditching the expectations of how we think our homes must be, popping something sweet in the oven, and welcoming friends.