How do you know that you want to train to keep a home if you’ve never tried to do anything else?

It seems a logical question to ask in our relativistic culture -why make one choice before you’ve tried out all of the others? By not going to college, aren’t you narrowing your options -by choosing to go one direction, aren’t you forsaking other options?

But isn’t that the nature of making choices?

When I chose to stay at home instead of going to college… I chose to forsake certain life experiences. I didn’t move out at eighteen, nor am I planning to move out at twenty-one. I didn’t move cross-country to experience life apart from my family. I chose not to see myself solely as an individual, but, instead, to embrace my identity within the context of my family (and within the broader context of the body of believers), and that choice did narrow my horizons professionally… considerably.

When I chose courtship instead of dating… I chose not to invest time in every young man who manifests a mutual attraction. I didn’t go on my first date, didn’t have my first kiss after a breathless first date. I chose not to bring my boyfriend home from college and introduce him to Mom and Dad after I’d already made up my  mind about him.

In fact, I chose to make all of my major life-decisions in conjunction with my parents -I don’t just forge ahead without consulting them on the big things (so I might buy that pair of shoes, but I didn’t start an English class without consulting them first).

I “missed out” on those things.

But sometimes, I think of other things I may have missed out on had I made different choices.

I think about how I would have been away from my family, at least during the four years when my little brothers -now six, three, two, and one -were growing and changing so much. I would have missed out on the special moments that I share with them.

And I think about how I might have missed out on the daily lessons I have been able to learn from my family -on being consistently discipled by my mother and to be challenged by my father. I would have missed out on being part of our church’s tight-knit covenant community.

I might have missed out on giving my very first kiss to the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with (although I’m still not sold on having it in front of everyone at the altar! ). And I may have missed out on experiencing so many “firsts” with him, and on going into a marriage, Lord willing, transferring from one fruitful family environment and beginning another. Whoever that future husband may be, I’m looking forward to embarking on that journey with him.

I missed out on punching the clock in my first job. And I missed out on that big promotion that may have made my day. I missed out on spending my days at a college university.

And, perhaps, in an alternate universe, I may have missed out on teaching my brother Asher how to read. I may have missed out on getting to know my mother better these days than I’ve ever gotten to know her before, and appreciating things about her that I may never have noticed without the time I’ve been able to spend with her. I may have missed out on finding my place in this home and loving and learning within the context of my family –

My beautiful family!

We’re always making choices -we can’t possibly have it all, despite what the culture has told us. Stay-at-home daughters miss out on being college gals. College gals miss out on being stay-at-home daughters. And I could have chosen differently than I did… but I didn’t. And the further I travel along this path, the more I’m loving the choice I made.

By God’s grace, although I don’t have it all, I have enough. I have everything I need and most of what I desire (though I know Prince Charming won’t make my life perfect, he’ll be a welcome addition whenever he does get here -you understand ).

I was not afraid to make choices, and you shouldn’t be either. Embrace the calling that the Lord has put on your life fearlessly, in spite of what you’ve been told you’re “giving up.” Because, when it all comes down to it -in my humble opinion -you’re giving up those other things for something infinitely more precious.

And that’s a treasure that we truly don’t want to miss.