When my first daughter was born, she had an older brother and that was our family for nearly 4 years. I was so excited to have my little girl {and my little boy}, but little did I know how much influence her older brother would wield over her.
When she was a mere 3 years old, she trotted out to the living room and proudly announced that she had cut her hair because her older brother had told her boys were better than girls. She preferred his army men over her dolls and his company over that of any of her little girl friends from church. We were fine with all of this, but it did make for an interesting study in family dynamics.
You see, I truly believe had she been born first, the dynamics would have been much different.
A few years later, our household consisted of 3 girls and 2 boys. The scales had been tipped and our home was a much frillier place. Pink and lace abounded and visions of tea parties danced in my head.
And then our youngest daughter passed away.
Since then, we have added two more boys to the mix and now the scales have tipped yet again…back to the boys. The difference is incredible.
My frilly house became rather loud and rowdy. Now that I have more boys, my days are filled with knights and cowboys and army men. Sometimes it seems my little girls get pushed to the edge of the craziness and sometimes it seems like they are right in the midst of it playing rough and rowdy with the rest of the crew.
I can only wonder what it would be like if I only had one daughter amidst this testosterone-induced chaos.
Because I desire to raise young ladies who act like young ladies, here are a few things I have done to help them stay in touch with their feminine side even after a hard day playing in the dirt with their brothers.
1. Mommy/Daughter Time. I do Bible studies with my girls, we read in the evenings, I take them out for coffee, and we have tea parties at home. I try to find plenty of opportunities to separate from the boys and just focus on my little girls.
2. Daddy/Daughter Time. Sometimes in a house full of boys, Daddy is so busy being a manly role model, his little girls don’t get much of his attention. My husband tries to take time with each daughter, even it is just to take them with him to run errands.
3. Teaching the domestic arts. As a mom with a houseful of boys, it is sometimes all I can do to keep everyone focused and somewhat calm. I often have to remind myself to take time to teach these 2 little girls what it means to be a homemaker. I must be very purposeful with my time with my daughters because so much of my time is caught up in boy things.
4. Encouraging rugged femininity. My oldest daughter has gone trapping with her older brother and hunting with her daddy, but that doesn’t mean she’s a tomboy. We’ve allowed her to participate in these manly excursions with the express purpose of giving her a well-rounded skill set that will help her in her womanhood. A daughter amongst boys can be a tremendous blessing to her adulthood as she is liable to learn things other girls would not.
My house may be full of snips and snails and puppy dog tails, but there are two sugary sweet little girls who keep everything smelling like roses!
