We received this question from a reader:
“Do you know of anywhere I can find ideas for encouragement for my 9yo daughter? Unfortunately I am unable to home school and I am afraid that she is picking up some disrespectful traits from her peers! I am trying my best to teach her the things she will need to know but apparently knowing how to provide a healthy and comforting home is “stupid”… any suggestions??”
Dear Concerned Mama,
I am the mother of a ten year old daughter and so I understand the challenge we’re up against in raising daughters who value home and family in a society and culture that generally does not. But we can do this!
First, let’s stop convincing our daughters to be homemakers and instead work on keeping our daughter’s hearts and pointing their hearts toward Christ. Our daughter’s learn to value their relationship with the Lord by seeing us taking time for that purpose. I remember when our daughter was little and picked up my Bible one morning and said, “Papa’s Bible!” because she had only ever seen her father reading the Bible. My devotional time was in the morning before she was awake and I realized then how important it was for me to do something as simple as reading the Bible in front of her. Now our whole family takes time each morning to discuss the teachings of Jesus and how the Bible is true and applicable to our daily lives. I could fail miserably at teaching my daughter homemaking, but if I’ve given her a desire for her own relationship with the Lord, I’ll have succeeded.
I encourage you to go with your daughter’s interests for a while. Does she enjoy having friends over? Well, let her discuss what they will eat while they are in her home? What activities will they do while they are visiting? What parts of the home need to be made ready for their arrival and who will do that? Does she enjoy a particular meal or a particular kind of food? Then hand the recipe card to her and the responsibility for making it for her family. Would she like a new wall color in her bedroom and new curtains to match? Hand her a paintbrush! The joys of homemaking and planning may take on new appealing light in her nine year old eyes when it is made applicable to her life.
As for our duaghter’s peers being a bad influence, you may not be able to control what is said to her in the hours of her school day since you are unable to home educate, but I am a strong advocate of helping our children choose their friends who will support and influence them in life. I was listening to Victoria Botkin this morning on a long drive and she was emphatic that our children do not necessarily need companions their own age, that they need true friends and true friends are ones that look out for you, have your best interest at heart and most likely won’t be your exact age.
Several times we’ve seen the damaging influence or known facts not made public of girl’s our ten year old has wanted to be friends with. We’ve have had to ask her to trust us when we tell her that she is to be loving and friendly with these girls but we cannot allow her to invest in and build close friendships with them. Instead we arrange for playdates with girls whose parents we know and trust and share vision with. Most of the time these girls are not our daughter’s exact age. This is something we need to be purposeful in undertaking. Generally, my husband and I enjoy having our children’s friends here, in our home so that we can be responsible for our daughter and the goings on.
Let’s be purposeful in praying for Godly friendships for our children and for like-minded families to come alongside us in raising children who value God’s Word and who value building families to the glory of God.
Our daughter has a blog which we supervise and oversee in which she posts about her ten year old life and the homemaking skills she is learning. I also screen blogs written by girls slightly older than my daughter, who are seeking after God, and allow her to read those. She has a folder on my computer I’ve filled with links we’ve approved for her to read and browse, blogs and crafting and other things that interest her.
Mostly, I think, that when our daughter’s see the *joy* which is contagious, with which we make a home and the joy with which we open our home to others and the joy, even in the mundane laundry, that will speak volumes to them and catch in their spirits.
By Hannah, Cultivating Home
What advice/encouragement would you give to this dear reader?
