I was a young mother of 21. After a long and difficult pregnancy, our second son was born being welcomed into the world by his older brother who was a few weeks away from turning two. Life was busy and it should have been a very happy time in my life. I had dreamed of marriage and children all my life and here it was all coming to pass.
As I was conversing with Israel (our second son) last night, he was asking questions about when he was a baby. And my mind flashed back to what life was really like.
It was anything but roses.
I was suffering from adrenal gland fatigue-something most people around me had never even heard of. I simply had the tired mother look, but nothing to make people aware of the fact that inside I was crumbling. The fatigue was so overwhelming, there were days I didn’t know how I could make it until my husband arrived home. Almost every night I would be in bed around 8:00 nursing Israel to sleep so I could go to bed, while my husband put our oldest son to bed.
Life did not look pretty. My memories of Israel as a baby are blurred. I honestly remember more of the exhaustion, the depressed feelings that came from being so tired, and wondering if life would ever be normal again. Israel spit up pretty bad as a baby, and there was spit up that sat dried and crusted on our dresser for over a year, because I was too exhausted to clean it up. The bare essentials were done and nothing more around our house.
Six years later I now have more energy as a mother of almost five than I did as a mother of two. Life does not look nearly so dreary and exhausting-though I still have my days of feeling overwhelmed as I think every mother does! Occasionally, some symptoms of adrenal problems will creep up, as it takes a lot to be totally healed of low adrenals. There are still certain chores I put off doing, such as getting on my hands and knees and scrubbing my floors as it wears me out. But overall I am content with the energy I do have-as I know what life could be like if I had never improved.
Mothering through dreary days, whether it is physical health or traumatic family problems is taxing. Trying to keep a smile on your face when all you want is a nap and a good cry is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I learned that the Lord gives grace, and He truly never does give us more trials than what we can handle.
If you are a mother who can relate to this post – you are exhausted inside whether physically or emotionally, I encourage you to just keep going. Get through today only and try not to think about tomorrow. The Lord will give you the strength to endure and many times the situation you are in will get better. Be determined to press on through your trial, looking to our Lord for the perseverance you need. My deep convictions and hopes in being a godly mother and wife helped get me through when I felt I couldn’t go on. I knew I didn’t have a choice. We only have two paths before us-we can endure or give up. No one wants to give up, and if you are holding a baby in your arms the results of giving up are unthinkable.
“I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my doings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God; many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:1-3
