In days gone by it was the custom for young ladies to be at home until they were able to marry. At home daughters could be protected and provided for, but these days this is all passe; young women are not considered “productive members of society” unless they are out on their own and asserting themselves.

While it is true we don’t want to encourage grown daughters to become human vegetables who sit around, eat junk food and “text” all day, we also don’t want to push our girls to go out and try and find their “feminist dreams.”

This wasn’t always the case in our home; for years we bought the worldly lie that young women needed to latch on to a “career track,” but experience has taught us a few things! As soon as we had reared our first four young women, we toned our career-mindedness down a number of notches, and began instead to concentrate on helping our daughters to think more about developing themselves, not for life as employees, but for life as wives and mothers.

This is why we are so very pleased with our oldest daughter at home, Nicole. Instead of launching out on her own, she has chosen to stay at here, but she is not a leach; she makes herself available any time to help the family, whether this means she fixes dinner, folds clothing, or helps her younger siblings with their schoolwork.

Besides this, she volunteers regularly at a local food ministry, and this summer she will be flying out of state to become a “nanny” as her oldest sister recovers from surgery in conjunction with a c-section delivery.

Although she is ready and willing to be my right-hand whenever I need her, she is also free to pursue her other interests and talents. Nicole is usually recognized for her amazing creative/artistic abilities, but what most people don’t know is just how hard she has worked to develop them. Without any outside prompting, she spent her homeschooling years challenging herself constantly; spending months perfecting every aspect of artistic understanding, from technique to anatomy to perspective. Then she spent this last year taking classes to round out her talents even further.  Her hard work has been paying off; she recently had the privilege of doing some free-lance work for the National Day of Prayer, has placed some of her artwork in a local gallery, and hopes to sell her art online.

She is such a jewel, with huge sparkling eyes and a great sense of humor. She and I love to go grocery shopping (alone) together, and we have such a great time we are a spectacle!

I know that she is not alone–there are many young, wonderful ladies out there who are nearing the end of their homeschooling years and wondering just what they will do until they marry or until God clearly guides them into their “next step.” This is why I thought it would be encouraging to hear from someone who has been working through all of the issues that can come into the mind of young women during this often unsure time in their lives.

Q:  You are 21 years old now, so why are you still at home?

There are so many reasons why I think staying at home is a respectable place for a young lady to be. First, she can be herself. Secondly, she gains the knowledge that her mother retained for many years and instills it into her own life. Thirdly, she can become an influence to her younger siblings as a loyal and devout follower of Christ.

Boy with fish, colored pencil on paper, Nicole Hayes

Q:  How do you deal with the probing questions of others?

I have been asked by friends and relatives why I choose to still live at home. Well, I do it because I am waiting for God’s timing in my life. I don’t want to rush things, sow my wild oats and wish I hadn’t. I’m young, and I have my entire life ahead of me. I can decide to do what is right and leave sin behind.

J.R.R. Tolkien, acrylics on canvas, Nicole Hayes

Q:  What are your plans for the future?

I don’t have to worry about my future, because I’m focused on the present. I live and work at home to help and deepen my ties with my family—to become closer to the ones who have raised me, to say to God, “You have the reigns, now I await Your direction.”

Q: What is your daily routine like?

I  wake up in the morning, take care of  my personal hygiene, make breakfast, help around the house, and aid my little sisters with their homework; not because I have to, but because I want to. I don’t just fix broken dishes, kiss boo boos, change laundry, and play with three-year-olds because it’s my job. I do it because I have an obligation before my Father to do what is given me as His bondservant.

Q: What sorts of things are you doing to move forward into your own future?

I have been given many gifts by my Creator, and one of them is illustrating. It is always a thrill to see what I can do on canvas or a sketchpad. Every small detail has a purpose in my compositions—everything has a purpose, no matter how small and minuscule it may be. And I know that being at home, though it may seem trivial, is just as important as fighting for what you believe in, because let’s face it, us at home, this is ground zero, the battle starts here—life began here, and it is our responsibility to fight for the happiness of the young and innocent.

If you would like to see more of Nicole’s original art, just follow this link to our Creatrix Familia page on my primary blog, Large Family Mothering.