Blogging and social networking sites have enlarged my experience of the universal Church, while at the same time making a big world much smaller.  I have made dear friends…met many like-minded women…been encouraged in the trenches of mommyhood…discussed practical theology…and prayed for, and with, women I have never met “in real life.”  Online communities can offer a welcome sense of camaraderie and fellowship.

But, they can also create a perceived sense of anonymity, and an “escape” from reality. Behind the virtual wall of the computer screen we “learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.” (1 Timothy 5:13)

Life isn’t always perfect.  There are difficulties.  Some days are just plain hard.  And, I’m not at all suggesting that we should not be able to look to friends (both flesh-and-blood and the online variety) for encouragement, advice, prayer, or maybe just a hug and a shoulder to cry on.

But, when we find a place where others are quick to commiserate with our plight, and offer words of sympathy, and a ready chorus of “I know what you’re going through,” it can be easy to give full vent to our complaints and frustrations, and forget that, not only are we are writing about real people.  But, other real people are reading our words.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” ~Ephesians 4:29

Even within our virtual worlds, there are still real-life consequences – all the more reason to be circumspect and discreet in our online “speech.”

Known In The Gates…

“Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.” ~Proverbs 31:23

We may not have city gates, but our husbands are known among our internet followers…for better or worse.  What we say has a direct impact on how others perceive him.  In real life, your husband may be a great guy – a strong spiritual leader, a hard worker, attentive to you and the kids.  But, if your followers do not know him in real life, they never get to see those great qualities.  All they know is what you tell them.

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” ~Ephesians 5:33

I frequently see women posting humorously veiled jabs at husbands who “forgot to take out the trash…again!”  Dads who do not get up in the middle of the night are publicly shamed, as their wife “jokes” that “the baby would starve if his father was in charge of midnight feedings!”  Others get a little snarky about how daddy is “just another one of the kids that I have to clean up after.”  Of course, most usually include the obligatory smiley face, “LOL,” or “Just kidding!” to indicate that the statement was made in jest.

Whether the statement was made in jest or not, remarks like this do not “…train the young women to love their husbands and children…” (Titus 2:4)

• How is your husband known among your blog readers, or online followers?
• Does he have reason to be embarrassed and ashamed because of what you have said about him, or about your relationship in your various online forums?
• Or, is your husband confident that you are “do[ing] him good and not harm” (Proverbs 31:12) in what you share about him online?

Lest They Become Discouraged…

This trend of sharing less-than-favorable information with, well, essentially, with the world, is not limited to our husbands.  Our children can also be the victims of our snarky comments, and tendency to over-share.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” ~Psalm 127:3

Scripture calls children a blessing – a reward! Is that how we see them?  Do our online friends know that we see them as blessings?

Sometimes, I just have to cringe when I read what moms write about their kids.  Because, some comments reveal more than just “real-life” parenting moments and missteps.  They reveal a consistently discontent, frustrated, complaining spirit that, at times, leaves me wondering if this mom even likes her children…let alone thinks of them as a blessing or a reward!

Some kids may still be young enough for mom to “get away” with this.  But…does that make it right?

My children are still a long way from entering the online world.  But, sometimes I do wonder what they would think if they did (or could) read my blog, or my status updates on a regular basis…

• Would they be unduly humiliated by information that I have shared…About their personality, their character, their behavior, their mistakes?
• When I complain about how boring, how difficult, how unfulfilling, it is to be a mom, should they conclude that they are a burden, an inconvenience, or a hindrance?
• Are my children free to share their heart – struggles, concerns, and joys – with me?  Or, should they worry that whatever is said is fair-game, and may very well end up as blog fodder, or an amusing Facebook status?

In this technological age of blogs and social networks, our fingers have become a virtual extension of our tongues.

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” ~Proverbs 31:26

May this describe our communication…both verbal and virtual.