Allow me to transport you to my family room during homeschool two weeks ago. We’re in the middle of reading an amazing story for Circle Time, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to focus on the story at hand.
The two year old climbs (literally) all over myself and the other children. When we try to encourage her to sit down with us on the couch, she sweetly smiles and shakes her head. She’d prefer to bounce all over the place, thank you very much.
I insist that no, mama is the one in charge, and I would like her to come and sit on my lap. Whining and thrashing arms and legs ensue. The 4 year old is in tears because the toddler has just kicked him in the face. The 6 year old starts to complain, “Can’t we just keep reading the story? Make her be quiet!”.
I begin to try to address all three issues, with a mixture of comforting, discipline and a reminder that you may not tell mama what to do. I can feel my patience wearing thin. I read a sentence, only to be interupted by continuing wailing. More shuffling on the couch. I read the same sentence over again.
Chaos reigns. Mama’s morning coffee was clearly not strong enough and I erupt with exclamations of why can’t they all get along, and can’t we get through a simple story, and maybe they would prefer that I didn’t read to them in the first place!
Did I mention what book we’re reading? The Jesus Storybook Bible. About how the Lord sent the Holy Spirit to the disciples, to empower them, comfort them and allow them to live godly lives through His strength, not their own.
And if I were to glance in a mirror, I’m sure that I would see the proverbial log-jam taking over my own eye, as I allow myself to get bent out of shape by the far smaller specks in my children’s.
What is my own attitude telling them that I really believe at this moment? That my Jesus isn’t big enough to calm the storm in my own heart, to empower me with self-control to hold my tongue and watch my temper? That being interrupted to have to train and discipline is a hassle and interferes with my ability to accomplish the items on my to-do list for the day? That the Bible isn’t really true when it says that “the joy of the Lord will be our strength”? Or maybe that patience, kindness and self-control aren’t among the fruits of the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives?
How often do we tell our children one thing and then allow our own lives to demonstrate the very opposite? I’m afraid it’s true in my own life far more often that I would care to admit.
My husband has reminded me lately that my attitude really sets the tone for our home. When I am frazzled and stressed, everyone else feels it. When I am joyful and at peace (even in the midst of chaos, undone chores, late dinner and behavioral challenges), he and the children are that much more at peace themselves.
More often than not, when we’re frustrated with the attitudes and behaviors of others, especially our children, the first person who needs an attitude check is yours truly.
Once we’ve dealt with those logs in our own eyes, and asked for the Lord’s grace and wisdom in the moment, it’s a whole lot easier to calmly deal with childish situations and the things that cause us to lose our cool.
