Today we have a post by our sweet contributor Rebekah:
We talk a lot these days, particularly in conservative Christian circles, about the fact that wise women build their homes, while foolish women tear theirs down (Proverbs 14:1). This emphasis is important, to be sure. After all, as the home goes, so oftentimes goes the church and the culture at large. Certainly a lot is at stake and the work we are doing within the four walls of our homes is crucial, world-changing work that is not to be taken lightly. Undoubtedly, we as women should be focusing on building our homes.
The problem, I believe, comes when we take this truth that wise women build their homes and then run with it, taking on the false belief that it all depends on us, that if we don’t do things just so, if we don’t dot all the Is and cross all the Ts, if we aren’t 100% intentional with our every waking moment, if we aren’t catechizing our children from sun up ’til sun down, then it will all fall apart and our children will automatically wind up heathens. As a result, we’re left with an epidemic of overwhelmed, overworked, stressed out, burnt out homemakers.
The Lord Builds the House
While we should indeed embrace the idea that, if we are wise, we women will be working to build up our homes, we need to likewise hold to the realization that, ultimately speaking, it is God who builds the house, not us. If He is not ultimately in charge and relied on for the fruit that we hope our work to produce within our homes, then we are working in vain. Consider the words of Psalm 127:1-2:
“Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so He gives His beloved sleep.”
You see, sweet mamas, it doesn’t all depend on you! Hopefully you’re able to take a deep breath of relief at that freeing truth today. While it is certainly true that we have specific God-given responsibilities to fulfill within our homes – those of teaching our children the ways of God as we go throughout our day (Deuteronomy 6:6-7), training our children up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6), looking well to the ways of our households (Proverbs 31:27), loving our husbands and children (Titus 2:4), and being faithful homemakers (Titus 2:5), we nevertheless were never given the weight of responsibility we so often heap upon ourselves – that of the outcome of those endeavors.
How often do we, as moms, feel like we have forever failed our children and doomed them to destruction if we miss a day of catechism or Bible reading with them or don’t take the time to get down on the floor and play or sit on the couch and snuggle with them or loose our tempers or sleep in too late one morning and don’t manage to get through our to-do list? We need to remember to let go and let God, to be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10). We need to remember the teaching of Paul in 1 Corinthians 3:6 that while we may indeed be responsible to plant the seed, it is God Who gives the increase. Not us.
The Lord has called us to be faithful to teach and train our children, to love and submit to our husbands, and to clean and manage our homes, but never once has He called us to act as the Holy Spirit, expecting us to do the heart-work in our children or to be the one to change our husband’s sinful tendencies. Only He can do those things.
Take a Breath!
So, today, dear mamas and fellow homemakers, be encouraged! Know down deep in your toes that even if you fail to measure up in some way today (and, trust me, you will – we’re all still a work in progress!), there is grace. There is the righteousness of God that has already been imputed to your account as His child. There is the sovereignty of God we can rest in and rely on when we come to the end of our rope and find our efforts wanting. There is the understanding that it is precisely in those moments when we loose our temper with our children or prioritize our to-do list over time training them in the Word, that our own need for God becomes so evident to our children, and we can take that moment and turn it into the most important kind of teaching moment there is – one which shows our children their need for God, our need for God, and the grace of God that so generously covers and restores all that need. There is the truth that, ultimately, He is the One who is building our homes; we are merely His workers in that great task.
The roles, responsibilities, and daily duties are ours, but the fruit, the results, and the end game are His. There is so much peace to be had in remembering that! To close, I just want you to ponder again the comfort and refreshment to be found in Psalm 127:1-2 and to be encouraged that our God is at work, despite our common sins and failures:
“Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so He gives His beloved sleep.”
God bless you today, ladies, as you rest in Him!
REBEKAH HARGRAVES IS A WIFE, MAMA OF TWO LITTLES, HOME BUSINESS OWNER, PODCASTER, AND BLOGGER RESIDING IN TN. HER PASSION IS TO BLESS FELLOW CHRISTIAN WOMEN THROUGH HER WRITINGS ON HER WEBSITE, HARGRAVES HOME AND HEARTH, WHICH EXISTS TO EDIFY, EQUIP, AND ENCOURAGE WOMEN IN THEIR JOURNEY OF BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD.
Website – Hargraves Home and Hearth
Facebook – Hargraves Home and Hearth
Instagram – @rebekahhargraves
Twitter – @hhomeandhearth
