Have you ever complained about one of your physical features in front of your daughter? For instance, have you ever said, “My hair looks horrible”, “I’m fat”, “I’m getting wrinkles”, or maybe even, “I’m not pretty”? If you are saying these things in front of your daughter, don’t be surprised when you hear her mimicking what you’ve said, only about herself. When you hear her speak unkindly of herself, it really hurts, and maybe you remember that you’ve said those exact same things, providing the template of ridicule for your daughter to trace over.
Our culture places far too much emphasis on physical appearance and beauty. We are expected to look like airbrushed super models, but this is not reality. Sometimes we mothers can buy into the fallacy that we must look perfect to be beautiful, when it just isn’t so. And in our self-deception, we may put an over-emphasis on physical beauty, when really, our concern should be the beauty of our souls.
This also, is what we must pass on to our daughters. Yes, we should take care of our physical appearances. There is nothing wrong with that. We should strive to be lovely, clean, and feminine. But outward beauty should not be our complete focus, and we shouldn’t obsess over our physical “flaws”. For who, really, is to say what are flaws anyways? Has God not made us all? Did He make mistakes? I hope you’ll all agree with me when I say, No, He did not.
Let me encourage you, mothers, to set an example for your daughters in pursuing the growth of inner beauty–the beauty of your spirit. For this is what truly matters in life–what is in our hearts, and our closeness to God. What is outside fades away, gets old, gets wrinkled, gets gray. And that’s okay.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
~Proverbs 31:30
