I’m raising five boys.  Three of them are already journeying through the teen years, but that part doesn’t scare me.  You know what does, though?

The fact that we’re inching ever nearer to the day they will be ready to consider marriage.

I’m not afraid of them marrying, exactly, but it’s a bit concerning when I look around and see a world full of young women who are terrifyingly bold and assertive.  Even more so, however, is the fact that girls are no longer being taught to respect themselves as the treasures they were created to be but are being encouraged to seek full and complete liberation from Biblical roles.

And this is not simply a “worldly” epidemic.  It is totally infiltrating the church from every corner.

I’m not impressed by the flesh-baring, egocentric, selfie-obsessed society I find myself raising children in.  Not impressed, yet it is my reality and it does me no good to sit and complain about what is or pining for what isn’t.  My time is much better spent helping my children navigate their way carefully toward what will be.

My hope and my prayer is that each of their will be’s include Jesus every step of the way.  Even the step that leads toward marriage, if one is in His respective plan for them.  But what kind of girl will be suited to walk beside my guys as they continue on in their faith experience?  As the mother of boys who is also raising girls, this is something I have thought about often.  Here are some critical components to their “princess” training we are striving for…

• Teach them reverence and respect for the men in their lives.  This should not even need to be mentioned but it is fast becoming a rarity.  Little girls are more and more frequently learning to dominate Daddy and pester brother than they are being taught to esteem them.  And girls who have not been required to submit to the authority of their father are largely unable and unwilling to submit to outside authority and have little regard or patience for His law.  We must work along side our daughters and disciple them to respect and serve, with a cheerful and eager heart, rather than allowing them to be filled with self-absorbed aspirations.

• Be selective about their reading material.  Novels today are filled with romanticized versions of a convoluted love.  Sadly, even many Christian novels tend toward entertainment rather than enlightenment.  In real life, happily-ever-after doesn’t work itself out in a few chapters.  It’s an ongoing, often grueling, process that requires a continual death to selfish desire.  Too many young girls are heaping their minds full of romantic notions that leave them desperate to manipulate a man into fulfilling.  A young man would be wise to turn from such a young woman.

• Exemplify the gender roles.  If ever there was a people confused, it is us.  We have blurred the lines that created a distinction between man and woman to the point where there are no longer any lines at all.  If a man can do it, well then, so can a woman. ..or so we’re now being trained to believe.  It’s rubbish but it’s raging like wildfire.  We need to be encouraging our daughters to seek their proper place and to be content there.  Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you ought to.  Women were never intended to compete with a man for his role.  We were created to complement him in it.  That doesn’t make us weak.  In fact, it takes a superhuman strength on many occasions.  Let’s teach our girls to bloom where they’ve been planted.

• Train them to embrace femininity.  The desire to be beautiful is not wrong.  God crafted Eve to be pleasing to the eye and Adam, being a man, surely appreciated that fact.  Our daughters should be taught to care for the body and soul they were blessed with.  But the truth our society seems to be missing is that you don’t have to bare your flesh to embrace your beauty. As we help our girls learn to cherish that which makes them uniquely “woman” we are doing a vital work that will enhance their marriage experience ten-fold when the time comes.  And their husbands will thank you.

Nearly every girl dreams of a man who will treasure them.  They want to be loved fiercely, and with passion, by a man of honor and integrity.  But not every girl has earned her right to such a man.  There truly are good, faith-filled men out there but I can assure you, they are likely loved by a mama who won’t be willing to hand them over to anyone who hasn’t allowed God to first (begin to) make her worthy.

[Author’s Note:  I’m afraid I left the article hanging a bit unbalanced.  My focus was on positive ways we can encourage our daughters to embrace what the Lord has for them but clearly young men need this same training.  And I do believe it serves a young lady well to be taught to do many tasks typically considered to be a man’s work.  Not for the sake of competing with him in his role but so she might care for herself while living a single life or to be a blessing in lightening the load of her husband once married.  It is God alone who can make the least of us “worthy” of anything good.]