When you marry into a family, more often than not, you acquire a new set of parents and grandparents, none of which parent or grandparent the way you were parented or grandparented. If you are blessed beyond measure, you find yourself in a beautiful new relationship that takes very little getting used to. If you are determined to be a blessing, you will find a relationship that stretches and grows you into a better mother and grandmother yourself.
I married into a family with tight-knit connections. My husband grew up with both sets of grandparents close at his side. I wasn’t used to that having grown up with only one set of grandparents whom I saw only sporadically. I had to get used to hello hugs, goodbye hugs, inviting grandparents to everything and knowing they would be at everything. But, through it all, my children were given something I never had. I was given something I never had.
My husband’s maternal grandmother – affectionately referred to as “Granny” has taught me the most.
She never criticizes. She’s just Granny. She never fusses about how many children we have and she loves to be right there as soon as the new baby arrives. She doesn’t tell me how to parent and I don’t tell her how to grandparent. She overlooks my quirks and I overlook the candy.
She always has time. She’s never too busy to play with the children, to give a back scratch, or help out in the kitchen. She taught me to make the best bread in the world and has generously handed down everything from her serger to her mother’s mixing bowl, telling me the history behind each item she has placed in my hands.
She is herself. She is eccentric in her own special way, but she is genuine. I may not prefer plastic flowers and chunky costume jewelry, but I know she loves me and my entire family and would drop everything if we needed her. The flowers and jewelry make her smile and because of that, they make me smile too. I wouldn’t want her any other way.
To be quite frank with you, when I grow up, I want to be just like Granny.
Do you have an in-law that has influenced you? What lessons have you learned that will someday make you a better in-law?
