Suddenly my husband was getting sick all the time, catching any and every thing that went around. Migraines came too and then swollen aching joints. His blood levels were slightly off but nothing alarming. In between bouts of sickness, my formally strong husband who ran laps around me, lay exhausted on the sofa, run down, face puffy, allergies insanely out of control. In time, we learned he was severly allergic to gluten, but still, a year after being off all gluten he was not much better except for his stomach issues. There were doctors appointments and test after test with no definitive answers. Emotionally, my husband described feeling like everything had gone wrong in his day, even though he knew it had not and his full confidence was in the goodness of God. He was tested for just about everything under the sun: cancers, hepititis, MS…on and on. His doctor didn’t know what to do, what else to test for.
Meanwhile, on the home front, things, as you can imagine, changed. In many aspects, I worked as a single parent for a few years, running our large household while Sean tried to rest and gain strength.
A few things come to mind when I share about making room for a chronic illness in homemaking. First, I purposed in my heart to trust the Lord in all things, even illness without a diagnosis. I haven’t always done well in following through what I’ve purposed to do, but the standard is there for me to aim towards. I learned to adjust the way we showed hospitality too. Instead of big dinners with lots of people, we had neighbors over for coffee and friends over for dessert. I learned some things would have to slide. Clean laundry would have to be left in a piles days on end in order for the kitchen to be clean. Nursing a new baby and re-cuperating from anemia took precident over a lot of things I wanted to get done. All of our children are involved in the keeping of our home and work alongside me each day, which was always a great help. As much as I hated to, I learned to rest for a little while in the afternoon, knowing that dinnertime and evenings are the busiest in our home and being rested would be the best way for me to tackle the coming hours. As flexible and spur of the moment as I thought I was, I’ve learned to be even more flexible, which has not always been a gentle process. Many times, I fell into bed absolutely exhausted, crying out to God for some relief.
I wish I could say I’ve handled the last few years with sainthood – but I have not. I’ve apologized and repented and worked out grumbling on my hands and knees scrubbing floors many times. (I scrub when I’m stressed, do you?) In all, I’ve learned that while the “in sickness and in health” portion of a family may change, God’s goodness does not change.
This morning our oldest daughter made breakfast, the boys are outside playing and the youngest is toddling around emptying out whatever she can find to empty. A few months ago my husband was diagnosed with Lyme disease, a bacterial illness carried by ticks, which can be difficult to diagnose and can easily mask itself as other illnesses. While hesitant to believe we actually have a diagnosis after all this time, his symptoms have been improving after medication and continued taking of a long list of suppliments. I am fingers-crossed, prayerfully, hopeful.
If you are dealing with a chronic illness in your own body, or in one of your family members, my heart goes out to you. I know this is not easy. Let me encourage you to feed your spirit each day. Time spent reading the Bible over coffee or listening to a Bible podcast while cleaning will go far to strengthen your spirit and encourage your heart. It is okay to let other things slide. Put God and your family first. Cuddle with those kids before worrying about a crunchy kitchen floor. If you don’t research health issues online and through books – begin to do this. We found the gluten allergy when I read a few elimination diet books and read online forums from people who had gone gluten free. Reading about immune system behaviour and disorders and what causes them lead us to Lyme Disease testing and a new doctor. God gives us an ability to read and research and learn for the purpose of benefitting our family and bringing glory to Him. If you’ve dealt with chronic illness, what homemaking advice would you share?
