How to Minimize the Need to Discipline

by Emily on October 29, 2015 in Inspiration in Child Rearing, Self-control, Servanthood

Mother and Child

Just how many parenting books do you have?  I have so many, I don’t even know…I love my children so much and have always wanted to be the best mama I can be.  Yes, the Bible gives us instructions for all of life, but let’s face it:  most of us just haven’t had the information passed down to us that we needed, to know how to parent well.  Lots of times we’re just flailing around, trying to get through each day with the most peace possible…sometimes shrieking for the children to be quiet?

And can anyone tell me what most of these books focus on?

It’s discipline.

What different discipline techniques can we use to get our children to behave better?  That is the selling point of most of these books.

After seven children and trying so many different things, I have come to realize something: our attitude means so much and has such an influence on our children.  When I have a good attitude with my children, things go so much better.  They treat each other well, and they are more respectful towards me.  But it’s not always easy to have a good attitude day in and day out…

Mother and ChildI’ve been reminded of something else recently.  Our children need to know that we love them unconditionally, and we need to know how to show that to them.  I have learned that one of the ways to show this to them, is to give them eye-contact.  We need to look them in the eyes–not only when they are in trouble, but when we are just talking to one another, and enjoying each others company.  If we only look our children in the eyes (and expect them to look at us) when they have done something wrong, how does this make them feel?  Does it make them want to be close to us?

Most mothers love their children very much, but we don’t always know how to show that love.  One of the ways is loving eye contact.  Another is to give our children physical contact.  Yes, the kind will vary among different ages and genders, but all of our children need us to touch them in some way every day.  I used to make it a point to always hug my children in the morning every day.  I have been inconsistent with this for a while, but recently I’ve been getting back to it.  And when I give them their morning hug, my children just light up with delight.

Think of all the teenagers you know who go astray and look for love and affection in all the wrong places.  Why does this happen?  Of course there is sin, but what drives this particular sin at this time?  There are also plenty of teenagers who do not go out and look for “love” somewhere else.  They are content and feel loved at home.

I have been learning a lot in a book that was recommended somewhere, (but I can’t remember where now).  I had picked it up used awhile ago, and I’m very glad I did.  It is called How to Really Love Your Child.  I have been putting some things into practice, and my children are blossoming with the attention they are getting, the affection and unconditional love they are shown.  Discipline problems
are few and farther in between!  I’m really amazed at how much showing children our love in these ways can impact them for the better.  It doesn’t mean they will be perfect, of course.  But it helps a lot.  How to Really Love Your Child also covers discipline, but I haven’t gotten to that part yet.

How to Minimize the Need to Discipine in the Home

If you grew up in a household that was very strict, lacking in affection, filled with lots of rules but no grace and no discussion, or where you did not receive  unconditional love, or if you just want to learn how to show love to your child(ren) better, I highly recommend you get this book!  I have not read the whole thing through yet, but what I have read so far has been extremely helpful and has given me greater understanding of myself and my children.

God bless you, Mothers, as you raise up this next generation.



Emily and her wonderful husband are raising several future homemakers and one little man. Emily enjoys homemaking, homeschooling, arts & crafts, cross-stitching, reading, sewing, and playing piano, just to name a few. She is interested in healing the body through the food God has given us, along with other God-given means such as herbs and essential oils. You can find her blogging about all things homemaking at Blessed Homemaking. Emily also has a God-given gift for art and sometimes posts her creations at Emily's Fine Art.

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