I feel like I’m entering a new season of life right now.
My kids are growing up, two of them are school age, and I am learning how to best manage my home and time while also trying to homeschool.
I’m coming out of a season where it felt like I was learning how to wait. I was learning to glorify God in the waiting. In the last few years we’ve been trying to sell a house, waiting on babies to arrive, waiting for my husband to get a job offer, waiting to find a church, waiting to find friends. I’ve done all of that(some of them several times) in the last few years. It’s been tough, but I have seen God be so faithful through it all, and I’ve almost got used to the season of waiting.
And now, while there are some things that I’m still waiting for, I feel like I’m starting to enter a new season of life. The season with school age kids, and their different activities. Learning to balance their needs with the needs of the younger ones, the ones who still need naps, and need mommy’s attention just as much as my older ones received.
Despite the Lord’s constant faithfulness to me, I still struggle sometimes. Not as much with learning to be patient and wait on God’s time, but more of a struggle with fear.
Fear that I’m not doing a “good enough” job as a mother. Fear that my younger ones will feel like they’re just along for the ride while I devote a lot of time to my school aged children. Fear about whether or not my school aged children are learning “enough.” Fears about the future.
But when those fears start to set in I hear the Spirit whisper to my heart, “There is no condemnation in Christ.” That the Proverbs 31 woman put on strength and dignity, and laughed at the time to come.
I so much want to be like that woman, and I desperately want to show my own daughters that we don’t have to be fearful of the future because God is good and in control.
Learning to laugh at the time to come means that I trust God with my whole heart, and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He knows what’s best. Not only does it mean that I trust that God is in control, it also means that I joyfully trust God with the future.
So we will walk together, and take each day one at at a time, knowing that worrying about tomorrow doesn’t do anyone a bit of good. I will strive to cherish each day, and when I do feel those feelings of anxiety creep in I will take them to the Lord. And in time, hopefully I will learn to laugh at the time to come.