A Character Quality We Must Not Neglect to Train in Our Daughters

by Bambi on January 14, 2014 in Quotes, Training Ground for Mature Adult Character, Uncategorized

Sarah Grace and Renny 2013RH2

I am so thankful to the Lord when He allows me to see little glimpses of His marvelous work in the lives of my children.  Too often I only see the character issues and the weeds of sin that need pulling in my children’s hearts. Sometimes I am slow in noticing what the Master Gardner has caused to bloom. May the Lord make us mothers who are quick to encourage our children when we see them bearing fruit, even in its beginning stages.

In getting ready for church yesterday, my nine-year-old daughter was helping her younger sister get dressed.  I heard her say, “Sissy’s hands are cold so let’s be careful when we get your dress on not to make you cold too.” As she carefully slid the dress over her sister’s body, I took the opportunity to encourage her.

“Sarah Grace, that is kindness and compassion you just showed to your sister.  I’m so thankful to see how Jesus is making you more like Him.”

It was just a little thing.

But it was a choice she made in that moment.  And she chose the good thing.  To care for the needs of someone else when she didn’t have to.

And I’m glad I was able to hear and see it.  She doesn’t always choose kindness, but today she did.

May the Lord forgive us, if in our endeavors to encourage our daughters to be Proverbs 31 women who work with willing hands, bring food from afar off and make linen garments to sell, we forget to tell them to have kindness on their tongues. May our daughters never boast that they can decorate beautiful cakes and knit elaborate clothing and sew complicated period costumes , yet not have the desire to reach out their hands to the needy.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, Col. 3:12

Is there anything more helpful to others than kindness?  Is there anything that brightens the soul, like a kind word from a friend or family member?

“Kindnesses are the small coins of love. We should always be ready to scatter these coins wherever we go. Kindnesses are usually little things that we do as we go along our daily path–wayside acts, touches, words, little helpful things. We never know when we do any little thing in love for Christ, what the end of it will be–what a harvest of good will finally come from it. It is better to do a thousand little kindnesses every day, than to do a great deed of love once in a year, and then fail to be kind in the common days.”

As mothers, how many times each day does the Lord graciously give us opportunities to model kindness to our children?  Many, I would guess.  And in my home, no one ever needs me at convenient moments.  These are the opportunities we have to show them the love and kindness of Jesus–in these “small coins” that are scattered about day after day.  May the Lord give us the grace to do so!  And may we pass this desire for  “coin scattering” along to our daughters as well.

Related posts:

Glorious Sisterhood: Helping Daughters Bridge the Age Gap

When There is Sibling Strife

When Your Daughter Isn’t Pollyanna

Motherhood and the Paradox of Dying to Live



A simultaneous Saint and sinner, Bambi was saved by grace through faith. She's a helpmeet to her high school sweetheart and together they are sharpening eight arrows for the glory of God. Bambi spends her days homeschooling, changing diapers, kissing boo-boos, reading books, and a million other duties she wouldn't trade for the world. Bambi is passionate about being a keeper at home, as well as marriage, motherhood and family discipleship. She is the author of the best-selling ebook, More Than Rules: Exploring the Heart of Beauty and Modesty. Visit her blog, In the Nursery of the Nation, or connect with her on Facebook.

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Kari January 14, 2014

Lovely post Bambi! My 9 year old is my biggest trial. She is very independent and has an attitude larger than life. We’ve tried all we can to sow love and sweetness in her but I often feel discouraged and like a failure. Then we have moments of brilliance like we experienced last week when at dinner not only was she pleasant and spoke with love but she cleared her dishes from the table and then went back for her fathers as well! If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes I wouldn’t have believed it. Then she came and gave me a hug and thanked me for dinner! Wow! I’m not going to lie, I almost cried! And I realized she is growing up and she is hearing and seeing what we are trying to teach her. Little moments like that make you keep going! Your daughter sounds like a very sweet girl and that she has a very caring heart! Keep at it mama!

Tehila January 14, 2014

I loved this post. I have a 12 year old daughter who serves tirelessly in the home, never complaining but loving others through helping. She is truly such a gift. I often tell her so, but this post has reminded me to show her more appreciation and to point out her godly qualities more often. We are so blessed to have daughters who follow the Lord, and to be able to witness the fruit of the beautiful Holy Spirit in their lives. It is a privilege that brings tears to my eyes every time I stop to think about it. May God bless you and your precious family!

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