Relishing Precious Moments

by Caroline on January 2, 2012 in Inspiration in Child Rearing, Nurture, Unity Between Generations

Our two oldest children were involved in a children’s choir performance on a Sunday afternoon recently at a nursing home. Carrianna, our three year old daughter was sitting quietly by herself observing the service and my husband took our youngest daughter so I could attempt to sit comfortably (if there is such a thing during the last month of pregnancy!)

Then suddenly it hit me. I caught a fleeting sense of what it will feel like when the days of my children sitting on my lap will have passed.


My lap is almost always filled with a child during church services and it felt strange in that moment to not have one of them clinging to me. I told my husband that Carrianna could sit next to me but he said she was fine,so I sat back in my chair to enjoy the service while attempting to brushoff the sad thought that had caught me unawares.

Later that evening, we went to another service for a special Christmas musical performance. This time it was extremely crowded, so Carrianna sat on my lap. She clung to me, sweetly looking up at me and smiling,commenting on the service and saying something about baby Jesus.

I smoothed her hair, kissed her forehead, and whispered to her that I loved her. She gazed up at me with her big brown eyes and told me that she loved me as well.

And I knew she meant it.

Could such an exchange take place too many times in a mother’s life? If you cannot answer “yes” now, you’ll surely have no difficulty answering so when they’re gone.

There will come a time when my lap is empty. I don’t want to waste my moments on frivolous indulgences, empty promises, and the escape-hatch answer of “we’ll do it tomorrow.”

My children want a mother. And I intend that they shall have one –
open lap and all.


Caroline Allen is blessed to be a wife to her beloved Sean, and mother to five children. She was home schooled all of her life by her precious godly mother, and now has started the whole adventure over again with her own children! Having been raised with a heart towards modesty, she started Deborah & Co., a clothing company that offers maternity, women, and girl clothes. Caroline is also a consultant for Lilla Rose where you will find beautiful hair clips. She would love to visit with you at her Blog, The Modest Mom and chat with you on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.

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Virginia Knowles January 3, 2012

Caroline, thank you for the lovely reminders.
I wrote about Savoring the Moment a couple of years ago at

Angela Wilson January 3, 2012

I have come to that point in my life when my kids are older. I only have one left that is not a teenager. My teens still climb in my chair with me and cuddle. It is crowded and uncomfortable with all those hips smooshed into a chair, but my lap is still open! When they grow up and leave home I look forward to having an open lap for my grandkids!!

Jen January 3, 2012

loved this! Thanks

Mali - mom in Sweden January 3, 2012

absolutely beautiful!
Thank’s for the words, I’ll follow her blog!

Kate January 3, 2012

That day is coming sooner rather than later for me since I am pregnant with our final child. I can’t believe my childbearing years are coming to an end! I can’t believe I’ll be holding my last baby! I am cherishing it more and more. I am taking more opportunities to cuddle, snuggle and hold my children. My oldest will be 6 this year! Time flies. This young years are fleeting.

Ryshel Durrance January 4, 2012

That is so sweet! Thank you for this post!

Terri January 4, 2012

Even though my arms longed for more, I was blessed with two children. They are now in their middle teen years. We have always spent much time together and still do, almost everyday is spent learning, laughing, and figuring out together this thing called “life”. I have and still do cherish every moment with them. But it is sooooo different now. I miss having little, warm, chubby arms around my neck. I miss having soft, little, warm hands patting my arm or my face. I miss the cute, sweet, innocent things they use to say. I miss being needed by them. And yet, it is so very, very good that they are now so independent – still loving, but in such a different way. It is such a bitter-sweet thing….

Heather @ Raising Mighty Arrows January 4, 2012

What a great reminder! We watched home videos just last night of when our children were very small. It made me miss those days so much. Especially as I see our daughter nearing 4 years old. While she is still very young, she is also blossoming into a little lady….a little lady that won’t always sit in my lap. Oh good grief….where are the tissue?! 🙂

Meghan Carver January 4, 2012

You put my exact thoughts into beautiful words! My six-year-old daughter tells me, every once in a while, “I love you very very very very very very very much.” I love and cherish that very very very very very very much!

Rhonda @ Abide at Home January 6, 2012

This is such a sweet post – bittersweet really! Before children, I never thought that I would dread them growing up so much! Children TRULY are a blessing from the Lord, and the time I spend with them a blessed gift. Thanks for sharing!

Deborah June 18, 2013

I have a recollection of speaking to my Mama during her hospice days that is relevant to share herein. We could not speak of “the end” to each other. It was the proverbial elephant sitting in the room; sitting on both of our hearts. We looked at each other and spoke of many other things. But we dared not bring voice to gravid, mortal words.

At one point, I presented her a set of green gems/jewelry. I felt strongly that I wanted her to have these specific green gems because they were Mount St. Helen’s green gems. And, this was a complete parure. (

Mama thanked me and told me she had never had anything so fine. She was delighted but struggling with what more she wanted to say to acknowledge this gift.

I received her more impressive gift, the lovely words she selected to express. She handled the jewelry as she spoke. Yet she wanted to have me understand about her “real” gems. This is how she was, how she felt about HER children.

Her words were similar to the text that is superimposed on the photograph of this infant, yet from “the other side,” as well as more specific and personal.

It was my own sweet Mama speaking of what she saw looking over the memories of her life.

I hope my siblings understand that we four were Mama’s most precious jewels. I shared this image with them because it inspired me to do so.

Mama’s name is/was Helen. She had/has lovely green eyes. She was a mortal beauty who only hoped that was so. Hers was the name of a legendary, mythological beauty.

She was always ‘Honey’ to her family. She deserved that, too, for her predominately sweet nature.

She named me Deborah. I am proud of my name. In it’s simplest meaning, it is “the bee.” Mama told me when I was very young that I was named for a strong woman: “Deborah was a prophetess of the God of the Israelites, the fourth Judge of pre-monarchic Israel, counselor, warrior… according to the Book of Judges chapters 4 and 5. Wikipedia”

I have been honored and hold my head high while I walk in humility as her adult daughter. I did not realize until she was ‘gone’ that I was the bee to her honey.

We were – and we remain quite a pairing.

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