A Little Bit Broken

by Jessica Heights on January 20, 2012 in Cleaning, Grace, Place to grieve and heal, Standing Firm

No matter how you look at it, homemaking is not easy.

In many respects, it’s just plain hard.

While it also brings great joy and satisfaction, for many of us, the difficulty transcends the emotional challenges homemakers face.  It moves beyond balancing the many aspects of homemaking {and living them out well} and enters the realm of the physical.

All homemakers face challenges, but some of us are putting on a brave face, to cover a significant battle we must fight daily.  Some of us struggle just to keep our homes running.  Some of us feel a little bit broken.  And we usually don’t  let anyone in, or let anyone see,

because we don’t want to be viewed as whiners.

But not letting anyone in, and not letting anyone see is no way to live.  Let’s stop hiding and making excuses; let’s start naming our challenges, and meeting them head on!

This post will begin a series on homemaking – with a reasonable measure of success – while coping with physical challenges.  We’ll name these issues, and claim them as part of our expertly created bodies.  We’ll discuss coping tactics, and how to overcome daily struggles, a little at a time.  Even if you do not personally face an issue like this, I hope the series will offer perspective that will give insight into the life of a precious friend or family member.

Next up: What’s wrong with Jessica?

EDITED to add: This series is about overcoming physical difficulties.  Personally, I love being a homemaker, and want to make others who suffer from physical ailments feel encouraged and supported…and that they are not alone.


Jessica Heights

Jessica is a passionately Christian, blissfully wed, full-time homemaker and mother of four. She is the author and founder of Muthering Heights and Other Senseless Sensibility, in which she encourages women as they blossom as mothers, wives, and conduits of grace. She is also a co-host of Relevant.

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abba12 January 20, 2012

Thank you for this!

Arabah Joy January 20, 2012

Okay, you’ve got me! 🙂 Can’t wait to hear what you’ve got coming, Jessica.

Michaeleen January 20, 2012

I’m looking forward to this!

Martha January 20, 2012

Hmm…I’m excited about this! I’ve had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis my whole life, and when it’s acting up I often feel very alone, as all of my friends are (a) completely able-bodied or (b) completely stoic and I don’t know about their problems.

Jessica Heights January 20, 2012

It’s a tough thing to open up about. I hope you are encouraged!

Michelle Zang January 20, 2012

This post really hits home. The Lord is really working on me right now in this area. When my children were babies it was easy to put them all down for naps and have the time to myself that I desired and spend time doing what I wanted to do (even if all it meant was uninterrupted time to clean or do laundry in order to have the clean/organized house that I desire). Now that my oldest children are out of the naps and homeschool has begun, that simply is not a reality and I’m having a hard time letting go of the “me” time that I wish I could have back. I am in the process of being broken.

Jessica Heights January 20, 2012

That surely is a challenge! Do you also have a physical ailment to grapple with? I hope that we moms who are working to overcome them can all stick together to support each other! 🙂

Liz January 20, 2012

What an awesome way to open the door to the struggles we have as wives,mothers and homemakers. You never know what somone might be dealing with and giving a safe place for sharing is fantastic.
Thank you for opening that door and being willing to share from your heart your struggles as well. Our struggles can turn from troublesome thorns to a gift that we can use to help others.

Jessica Heights January 20, 2012

They truly can!

Heather January 20, 2012

So looking forward to this series!

Nita Theriault January 20, 2012

Hi Jessica,
I am a mother of three grown children and my husband and I have ten grandchildren. I was a stay at home mom for most of my children’s young years. I found great satisfaction in being at home and found many ways to help our family financially. I grew up on a farm so I knew how to plant a garden and can and freeze much of the produce. I made home made yogurt. I made tote bags and other things to sell.
It was a great life and my children were always with me.
I am now wanting to influence the younger women as some of them have also chosen to be stay at home moms and home schoolers.

TyKes Mom January 20, 2012

I’m intrigued! Can’t wait to read this series!

Mooberry Farmwife January 20, 2012

This looks very interesting. I am a homesteading mama of 8 and feel very blessed that I find great joy in the life the Lord has given me. I am thankful.

Snomama January 20, 2012

Can’t wait to read more. I was diagnosed w/terminal brain cancer 2wks after giving birth to baby #7. God has graciously moved in my body but after spending 4 years bedfast (and 8 months on hospice) I struggle with energy and stamina. AND I feel so guilty about things being so different for my two younger children than they were for the oldest children. I just cannot do things the same way. I could USE some encouragement!

Jessica Heights January 20, 2012

I so feel for you!! I hope this series blesses you!

jfred January 20, 2012

Thank you! The past yr+, I’ve struggled thru chronic mono and a low immune system, so I stay sick more than I care to. But I’ve also learned some beautiful lessons during this time. Somedays are very hard to get through, and others are jam-packed with all I wanted to do when I was sick. It’s crazy! But I look forward to hearing from others who are walking through motherhood while not well. It will be encouraging!

Heather :) :) :) January 20, 2012

I’m really looking forward to this series 🙂 🙂 I have an auto-immune condition that results in extreme fatique among other things…but I don’t use that as an excuse to not keep up with the house. I just have to adjust how I do things 🙂 🙂 Thanks for sharing this today 🙂 Love and hugs from the ocean shores of California, Heather 🙂

Jessica Heights January 20, 2012

I totally understand what you mean about adjusting. Hugs right back to you!

mariah January 20, 2012

what about emotional health? There are moms out there who may not have a physical ailment, but a mental one, idk…will you speak on that?

Jessica Heights January 20, 2012

I will, a bit!

Erin January 20, 2012

I’m so glad you’re running this and can’t wait to see what you have to say. I have RA and man, sometimes you just have to let the house go. I’m trying to find balance . . . I think this is going to be really encouraging. 🙂

Jessica Heights January 20, 2012

I truly hope that it is! Some days, it just helps, doesn’t it?

Kari January 20, 2012

I look forward to this series. I have arthritis in my knees, hips and spine (as well as spina bifida) and I’m only 30. I know it will get worse as I get older, which is really hard to think about because it’s hurts enough now. 😉 I also battle depression, which isn’t as much a physical issue but it can cause very physical symptoms that are hard to help others understand. So I look forward to this series and finding some tips on how to push through the bad days, take advantage of the good days, and how to let others in when all I want to do is shut everything out. Thanks for this!

mamajil January 21, 2012

looking forward to this series, I am currently recovering from three months of pneumonia that had be bed bound….it has been a long season, especially as a mom to ten who has never really been ill before. I’ve learned so much about asking for help, and the joy that comes from having trained my children to take care of the home. They did a wonderful job holding down the fort but it was a hard time…. looking for ward to what you have to say ….

Chelsea January 21, 2012

I am so glad someone is addressing this subject! I have several auto immune diseases that I’ve had for many years. My husband was diagnosed with MS last year. I’ve been pregnant 4 times in 18 months (2 resulting in miscarriage). I have a toddler running around. I have tried to never let those things become excuses and to keep working hard but now it is catching up to me, I am so tired and barely able to keep up and I’m not even 30. Probably the hardest thing about all of it is the guilt. ‘She doesn’t volunteer at church.’ ‘She doesn’t make meals for people.’ ‘Her house is always a mess.’ And everything I hear / read re-enforces the idea that I am self-centered and just don’t “overcome”. I’m really looking forward to hearing what you have to say about women who have honest physical difficulties and how to deal with the guilt!

Dawn (Large Family Mom) January 22, 2012

Love this idea! I struggle with a hip injury from a car accident almost 18 years ago. I have pain every single day. Some days are not so bad, some days I can’t walk. And I still have 8 of my 10 children at home.
I almost never talk about it, and the kids rarely know if I am hurting, because I hate whining! You hit it right on the head-I do not want to be a whiner. So I suffer through, and still try to do everything I need to so they won’t figure out that I am in pain. It sounds kinda silly to type that out, but it is the truth.
I think this is a great topic to cover, and am looking forward to the upcoming posts!

Lucy January 22, 2012

“I hope the series will offer perspective that will give insight into the life of a precious friend or family member.”

Thanks for that reminder. While this doesn’t apply to me personally so much, I do have an amazing mother who has battled a variety of chronic pain since I can remember. I look forward to perhaps taking some cues as to how I can better help “bear one another’s burdens” in her life. Lord knows she’s done it time and time again in mine!

Jennifer January 23, 2012

Thank you for the encouragement. It’s difficult sometimes with a chronic illness (mine is IBS)to accept the challenges and let go of the time spent sick. I get frustrated sometimes because I feel I could do so much more with the kids or in ministry. All I can do is have faith that God will provide enough time for everything that is truly important.

Jennifer January 24, 2012

I’m excited about this as well. I deal with psoriatic arthritis. It affects more of my joints than not, and it also affects a lot of my skin which makes getting ready to go anywhere challenging. It’s hard for me to do what it seems like everyone else can.

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