The Shame of Fatigue

by Jasmine on March 7, 2011 in Uncategorized

*This giveaway is now closed*

My mom had a sinus infection and I had finally convinced her to go to bed and leave the housework to me, my dad was at work, and my five youngest siblings -all six and under -seemed to be bent on trying my patience. I had a list of things I wanted to do as long as my arm -I had two tests to study for, lesson plans to write up, papers to grade, a novel to edit. I promised myself I’d get some work done once they settled down for nap, but, by the time they did, my mind felt like it was made of mush.

And I was almost guilty for being tired.

I mean, I’m living the life I’ve chosen: I love my little brothers and sister -their smiles brighten up my day. I love the responsibility of cooking, cleaning, and laundry -no, I’m not Snow White, but I like the feeling of a well-ordered home. I love being an English tutor, and I love getting my English B.A. via distance learning.

I love being a home-girl.

But because the way I’ve ordered my life is counter-intuitive to most Americans, those days when I’m tired, overwhelmed, or even a tad bit frustrated seem almost to condemn me.

Why is that so?

Why, if I was pulling a full course load at Columbia while simultaneously interning for a renowned publishing house would it be all right for me to come home at night bushed and proud of it… but when my brothers test my patience, it’s seen as proof that I should have been doing something else with my life?

Why, if I were a renowned fiction-writer headed to a book signing while squawking to my publicist on my cellphone and trying to hear my latest interview on the radio would I feel a bit hectic… but when I’m a little frazzled with the multi-tasking with household chores do I feel the need to hide it under a fake smile?

Why do we feel that it’s okay to be tired only if we’re dressed in a power suit?

I don’t anymore, actually. When I get tired, when I get discouraged, when I get overwhelmed… I admit it. I try not to wallow in a pity puddle, but I also try not to be a Stepford Wife in training. I go to the foot of the cross and I heave a sigh of relief:

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. ~Galatians 6:9

As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good. ~2 Thessalonians 3:13

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. ~1 Corinthians 15:58

When we’re following the paths that the Lord has set before us… we’ll get tired. We’ll get frustrated. We’ll grow weary. If it were not so, Paul would not have warned us at least three times in the Scriptures to remember that our labor is not in vain –

There would be no need to be warned to remember if we weren’t so prone to forget.

All women grow weary -in every sphere of society, whether we spend our days shaking hands with diplomats or scrubbing floors, whether we get to talk to famous TV show hosts or try to decipher the slurs of a toddler… the fact that we grow weary while following the Lord’s will for our lives at home is not indicative of the fact that we’ve made the wrong choice, or are not living our dreams… it’s indicative of the fact that we’re human, and need to walk whatever paths that lie before us in Christ’s strength, and not our own:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ~2 Corinthians 12:9-10


Almost a year ago, I began the journey of writing my first book, Joyfully at Home with the understanding that stay-at-home daughters do get weary. One of my aims was not to tell them to swallow back their need for encouragement, but to remind them that their labors were not in vain, and to rediscover the joy in the choice of a homeward calling.

As I have said before, I truly hope it will be a blessing an encouragement for those who read it. I am glad the Lord gave me the grace to write it, and hope I accomplished my goal in penning it: to present gospel-centric encouragement for daughters.

I am very honored to be able to give away a free copy of Joyfully at Home here at Raising Homemakers.

To Enter: (Please leave a separate comment for each thing you do.)

– Comment on this post . . . and (optional) answer the question:

“When it comes to serving at home, what are the areas where you need the most encouragement?”

– Facebook, Comment, Tweet, Email, Post the link to this giveaway.

By Jasmine, All She Has to Say


Jasmine is the oldest of Voddie and Bridget Baucham’s six children. She is a homeschool graduate who enjoys studying and writing about areas as varied as theology, philosophy, political science, art, film and culture. She is also an aspiring author who currently lives at home where she continues to assist her father in his research, is completing a degree in English literature, writing a book based on her blog, Joyfully at Home, and is blessed to assist her mother with the care of her younger siblings.

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Lily girl March 11, 2011

I loved reading your article about fatique. I too am a stay at home mother of three kids and love my role in life as such. As we are bombarded with media visions of “power” women it is easy to feel less then deserving of being tired after a day of homemaking then say pulling in a 6 figure salary. Let us all remember that even the so called “career” women were more then likely raised by a stay at home parent.
Blessings all.

Melissa Ann March 11, 2011

I would love encouragement with school work. It can be really tough, and oh, I love your book 🙂

Samantha March 11, 2011

I’d love to enter!

Dayna March 11, 2011

I need a boost in my motivation to clean! Somehow I always want to procrastinate! 🙁

Camille M. March 11, 2011

Please enter me! This sounds like a great book!!!!

Camille M. March 11, 2011

The area I need the most encouragement in is PATIENCE! Please pray for me.

Justine March 11, 2011

Is this giveaway still open? I’d like to enter. I don’t know what would be the thing I have the most trouble with in homemaking. It might be patient kindness, i.e. I can act kind for a few minutes but then I often get frustrated.

Miss Rosi March 12, 2011

Probably cooking, sigh, I’d love to be able to clean and make chicken or know how to prepare beef/meat or anything like that.

Thanks for the giveaway opportunity!

Sonya March 12, 2011

Helping my Dad with his business is what I need most encouragement for – and realizing that it is NOT a waste of my talents to stay at home, as my teachers have tried to tell me!

“Educate a mother and you educate a family”

Cate March 17, 2011

For me, I need encouragement to develop my home based business so I can stay at home instead of working outside my home.

Jessie June 5, 2011

Reading this post was a great encouragement! Not in vain :0)

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