Powerful Words

I’ve long known that the written word is powerful. God’s Word is the most important example that comes to mind. But also things like handwritten letters and thank you notes — particularly in this technological, text-twitter-email-facebook world we live in!

More recently, I’ve learned that the spoken word is immensely powerful as well.

The first time I realized this was when I made a photo slideshow for the memorial service of a friend of ours who died after a long battle with cancer. His parents had audio recordings of this young man singing praise songs during their family’s worship time. They wanted this recording put in as part of the soundtrack for the slideshow. Though John’s singing voice would win no awards, his beautiful heart and soul came through clearly in his worship. Hearing his voice that way was more powerful than I can describe, and deeply moved every person at that memorial service.

Now, my dad has lost his ability to speak. Though he is still with us on this earth, bulbar palsy has essentially paralyzed his tongue and lip muscles so that he cannot swallow and cannot speak intelligibly. Everything he says to us must be jotted on a notepad. He cannot call us on the phone. There are countless little things that go unsaid simply because it’s too much effort to write. This happened gradually, and I cannot think of any audio recording I have of him, other than a voicemail message from about six months ago, when his speech was slurred but still mostly understandable. I have been thinking lately about the silly noises he’s always made; his pretend-Spanish words that had me believing he spoke the language (before I took Spanish in high school and learned better!); and of all the funny nicknames he’s always called me. I won’t get to hear those anymore. None of these words or nicknames or silly sounds were anything profound, but now I treasure the memories of his voice and his words because the memories are the only way I can still “hear” him speak to me.

Dad still tries very hard to speak the words, “I love you.” Because of all the words he has ever spoken, this above all is what he wants his family to know.

(My dad with his daughters, granddaughters, and great-granddaughter – Dec. ’09)

When I am gone or can no longer speak, what words will my children remember me saying? In their minds, do I want them replaying all the times I reminded them of their chores? Or do I want conversations and laughter and sillyness and I love you‘s to be the soundtrack in their minds?

I know my answer.

“Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Proverbs 18:21a

What we say does one of two things: it builds up others — or it breaks them down. There are very few truly inconsequential words. The words we speak and the tone in which they are spoken contribute to the overall health (or lack thereof) of our relationships with loved ones. We must realize the power that words have in the lives of our children. Especially words from mom and dad.

We are raising a generation of daughters who we hope and pray will grow up to become wives and mothers. To be the best wives and mothers they can be, they must learn to be nurturers, and this means that our daughters must learn first-hand how to speak kind words.

Moms, what words will your children replay in the soundtrack of their minds?