A few years ago I came across an article bemoaning the job of homemaking. I don’t recall the source because I certainly didn’t bookmark it {big smile}. The author would have convinced me to negate homemaking as a career if I wasn’t already a homemaker and hadn’t experienced the truth and fineness of homemaking first hand. I believe these myths are worth airing out in the open once again.
Myth Number One: You need to be rich or at least well off to be a homemaker or stay at home mama.
Before our oldest daughter was born, a book shop nearby was going out of business and I picked up a short book titled, “You Can be a Stay at Home Mom”. It is long out of print and I don’t recall the author but it introduced me to the basics of being a stay at home mom and made me realize what was at stake. At that time Sean and I were making about the same income, neither one great (under $15,000), but both of us knew I should stay home with our new child.
When our bald headed beauty was born, our income was cut in half suddenly. We had Sean’s school loans, a mortgage, and monthly bills. Both of us drove beaters. Mine was a red Ford hatchback and I could just squeeze our daughter’s carset into the back if I drove with my knees bent up under the steering wheel. We made do and were contented doing so, knowing that building and investing in our family would pay off in the long term more than anything else.
Some quick ways we lived differently and still do for the sake of building a family and home are:
1. Shopping second hand for just about everything: cars, clothing, and furniture.
2. Cooking from scratch.
3. Beginning to make a weekly menu.
4. Growing a small garden (in the city).
Over the years I have kept a home on a very, very meager income (below the national poverty level and without public assistance)and on a very spacious income. It can be done either way. The principles are the same.
Most American families cannot fathom living simply or being contented without “having”. Do you realize most German’s live well on $17,000 a year (according to the statistics). The difference is the German idea of living well and the American’s vastly differ. Most Americans think cable, two vehicles, luxurious vacations, and the freedom to buy what they want on credit are needs.
Myth Number Two: Being a Homemaker is bad for your marriage.
Yes, I can see how coming home to a (mostly) organized home and a hot fresh meal could badly influence your husband! 
Excuse my sarcasm for a moment. If, however, your husband is coming home to a complaining, nagging wife then, yes, your marriage will suffer. However, I believe it would be the wife’s heart issues that would be causing the marriage feathers to be ruffled and not the occupation of homemaking.
Myth Number Three: Being a stay at home Mom may not be best for your children.
Now, is this because they are being screamed at all day or because they get read to and taught and nurtured? I’ve never seen happier, more contented children than those with mothers intent on building their homes to the glory of God.
One of my pet peeves (a gentle way of putting it) is hearing people say that they don’t have the patience to be around children – as if God shorted them. Remember that “there is no partiality with God” the next time you hear this or consider it yourself.
Instead, let us work to develop the discipline to control ourselves and keep a quiet spirit. Then the patience comes. Patience is a virtue we allow God to develop in our spirits.
When you are challenged on this issue, encourage folks who think leaving the kiddos with anyone other than a parent to research the statistics on the matter.
Myth Number Four: Being a stay at home Mom is a waste of intelligence
Because negotiating world (home) peace is an easy thing to do, right? And having to be an expert in everything from plumbing and poison control to kitchen chemistry and child behavior doesn’t take much intelligence? Let’s use our intelligence to better our families before letting it benefit a company we have no vested interest in. I don’t doubt that getting a paycheck might help us feel intelligent or recognized. Before I was a homemaker, I was a nurse. I got recognized every two weeks with a paycheck for changing bandages, taking out stitches and holding retractors for the surgeon I worked for. Woop-de-do. I like my non-paycheck job much better.
Myth Number Five: Deciding to be a stay at home mom and devote yourself to homemaking will make you grieve for company.
Find like minded women. If you are a homemaker or stay at home Mama, and you do feel like you need adult interaction during the time your husband is gone, invite a friend over for tea. It’s nice. I do it.
Cultivating a heart and home of hospitality is a good thing. Sitting around moping is not.
Myth Number Six: (This is a biggie in some Christian circles) Being your children’s mother keeps you from “real” ministry.
I cannot even imagine a good argument for this. I’ve never heard a scripturally supported one, though I’ve heard many.
Ministering from your home matters more and will more likely have a more positive impact on those around who need Christ (and perhaps a genuine friend) than being away from home during the week so you can use your gifts in a church setting. Bring baked goods to your neighbors, offer to watch a pregnant mama’s kiddos so she can rest or grow a little extra food that you share with a needy family. One of my girlfriends and neighbors ministers to me when she texts me from the grocery store to ask if she can pick up anything for me while she’s out. Ministering to your own little ones every day matters much. Just because they can’t give you recognition, a paycheck or testify up front on Sundays as to your faithfulness does not negate your home as a ministry.
Putting “ministry” before your children and family is like putting the horse before the cart in my mind. If we do not have the patience or will to minister effectively to our families, how can we minister effectively to others?
When we sift out all the misconceptions about homemaking the truth that still remains is this: people will form most of their opinions about the career of homemaking by watching us, the homemakers of the early 21st century. Perhaps more importantly, and I’m sure this has been said, but bears repeating – our daughters and sons will form their opinions about homemaking from observing us. Are we complaining about our lot in life ? Do we running errands with disheveled and unwashed children? Do we look like the misery society envisions us to be? Join me in dispelling some of the myths about homemaking this week. Smile. Thank your husband for working hard to support your family monetarily. Praise God for this opportunity for growth. Pray for the patience He freely gives and ask Him to direct your days and your activities in your home based ministry.
How do you cultivate a joyfulness in your homemaking career?
P.S. The foodie photos are mine. From the top: Our kiddos lunches ready and waiting washed hands; The Pioneer Woman’s cinnamon rolls bake up a huge batch, always enough for passing on a tray of them; lastly banana muffins, I bake up extra batter into mini muffins for quick and healthy snacks for the kids.
By Hannah, Cultivating Home
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I love this posting!!! It is true! Many people succumb to the understanding that staying at home is negatively impacting the family. Absurdity is what that statement is. If the heart is not bent towards the Lord for guidance and instruction, then the mom cannot build her home properly. As a former career woman, I love being a stay at home mom. I gave up working to minister to my children because the Lord ministered to my heart. This post is not to cause strife against women who work, but to dispelled the myths they believe. I know because I was one of them.
Ohhh ohh ohh!! I LOVE this article! I wholeheartedly agree, and have written very similar posts on my blog. I have the same argument with many of my relatives as well. They just don’t get it! Thank you for sharing!
Hannah, God bless you for this post. We love this life style and are finding it hard to find others who do. I grew up with a stay at home mom. I learned to sew, bake,cook, nurture others, and keep a home. Worked all day each day at it and felt that was what I was suppose to do. My husband decided he didn’t want to be a Christian, found someone else and left 22 years ago. I went to school to become a teacher. I’ve taught for 16 years and will be retiring on a small income. The best of it is that I get to come back home to do what I love. Help others, sew, keep a nice smaller home, for myself and my daughter who has her own home but isn’t married yet. We have both been seeing to my mothers needs for the last 10 years after a massive stroke. Now, we are looking to move from where we are to hopefully a place that there are men who would appreciate a hard working homemaker. Even though working outside the home my daughter will begin her own Etsy shop to sell items that she sews. She would love to be married with children. She has yet to meet a man who would like for her to stay home and work. Any ideas? Thank you for this great post. I see very few of these. I’d appreciate any input you have.
I agree with all of these. I especially have to agree with the definition of “needs” in America. It baffles me when people cannot depart with their cable but can’t afford their bills or complain about not having enough money. Cable runs like $80-$100 per month!
All I see are a bunch of excuses.
And when it comes to being patient with your kids. That is a learned attribute. It is something you mature into and even after 5 children, I am still learning this trait!!!!!
Thank you for sharing
Excellent, excellent, excellent. Thank you.
Great points!
I just wanted to say thanks for writing this. I stay home now and while I knew it was important before, after a couple of years I can really see the blessings I am sharing with the world through it. This was a great write up and am honored to share it with friends.
I love this post! I went through a period when I decided not to return to work when my family thought I was crazy. They kept telling hubby and I that I needed to work. Like they knew better what we, as a family, needed better than we did. I’m going to a link to this post on my blog; maybe they will come over and read it.
i loved this post! thanks!
The myths were beautifully (and very graciously) dispelled. I fear my dispellings would have contained much more sarcasm
I am not a great homemaker: I wish my house was much tidier; I wish I was much more organised; I wish my meals were planned with more care. But even after 20 years of marriage, I am still learning – blogs and sites like these teach me so much.
I do know that being at home with my children, for their schooling and for their lives in general, is something I wouldn’t swap for the world.
Not good for your marriage?? Get real! Coming home from a ‘day at the office’ at the same time as your hubby, having to share ‘child care’ if they were off school, having to share all household duties…… good for a marriage?? I don’t think so!
And not good for intelligent women?? Have these people never heard of books? If I have any spare time, I read…. what better way to stretch my mind (or take me to delightful places, if I want some relaxation)? If I have less time, I listen to sermons while I iron…. a wonderful way to stretch my mind and give me thoughts of my Saviour.
So, even in my very imperfect home…. being here is best for me, for my kids and for my husband. But then, God always knows best, doesn’t He?!
This is beautiful! I am going to share this link with my friends. Thank you for sharing your wisdom! I 100% agree!
thanks–this is BEAUTIFUL!!!
This is such a wonderful post! I have heard from so many people that, by staying at home, I am throwing away my college education but I find just the opposite to be true. I use the knowledge I gained from my sociology education more with my children than I ever did in the career world. Being a SAHM takes some brains, especially when you have to live frugal to make it work!
Great article. I am a 71 year old mother of 4, grandmother of 7. I was a stay at home mom and loved every minute of it. I have 3 daughters in law who all are stay at home moms. I am so proud of them. It is really a challenge financially for 2 of them, but they are really believers and are doing a fantastic job. I praise God for them.
Love this article. My husband was in college when we had our first child. We decided that when we got married that I would not work outside the home. We did not want to become dependent on a second income. I babysat for a single mother that was in college. I didn’t charge her much
When I had my son, she put her daughter in daycare. My husband at the time was working at night. He was making betweeen 16,000 to 18,000 a year. We didn’t live in a nice fancy house, we didn’t drive new cars, we didn’t have new clothes, and so on. Now that our fifth child is on the way, we still make sacrafices. My husbnad did finish college, God gave him a great job with a great company. We still don’t drive new cars and we still don’t live in a fancy house, but I love staying home with my children. I love that my husband doesn’t mind the sacrafices. One day when they are all grown up I will look back and I won’t see the sacrafices made but all the precious moments and memories we have as a family.
Beautiful post. Though I have chosen to be a full-time homemaker and love my job, I find myself needing to be reminded of these things from time to time. Thank you.
What a great post! I felt like we were sitting around, discussing this over tea
I think the biggest myth I had to dispel in my own mind (which eventually allowed me to dispel it for others), is the myth that you have to be wealthy in order to be a homemaker. We are definitely below the poverty line for a four-person family, and with the vision and hope to bring more children into this world, we’re also denying government assistance, which definitely ruffles feathers. Why deny when you qualify, right? But we feel like the Lord wouldn’t have put the vision of a large family in hearts if he wanted us to depend on anything outside of Himself to provide for them… What was once the hardest decision to make ended up being the best one for this family. I hope my children (two girls so far) and other young women can be inspired by my testimony of obedience and God’s faithfulness.
Despite how busy my days can become, the simple fact that I still have time to develop skills and experiment with activities that I couldn’t do if I worked full time definitely brings joy to my career in homemaking. There’s an entire world of creativity I get to tap into that would probably have passed me by otherwise. Somethings still have to be postponed for another season, maybe as my children get a little older, but even still, I’ve discovered so many things I’m interested in (and even pretty good at) that I wouldn’t have given a second thought before.
Here is a myth for you Hannah, if you live in the city to even afford a decent living space, two people must work. Not everyone lives in the country like you, down the road from your father. Does he help you in any way ? Then you are better than most. what are ‘luxurious’ vacations ? Disneyland, Six Flags ? Visiting relatives by driving all through the night ? In this day with gas prices they way they are, I suppose they are. As for European Vacations which I consider a ‘luxury’ you need a trust fund and most normal people do not have that.
A complaining nagging wife ? Yes, one of the reasons, even christian marriages break is money. The myth about the nagging working wife. Can I ask if a SAHM who waits for her husband to come home and take over some of the burden of caring for children so she can have a moment to herself is considered a ‘nagging’ wife by your lofty standards if she does that or expects her husband to throw the trash or any such thing. After all, he supports her right ?
The Myth about grieving for company is not true ? Then what are MOPS ? Mother’s day out ? All the children at the mall who just hand around with their moms during a work day ? The moms who spend time online looking for ‘like minded people’, the hours spent on facebook , blogs, trying to get traffic? Working women are supposed to waste time on facebook. Do SAHM’s not do the same ? Or is that a ‘myth’ too ? And why is it caused ? Loneliness perhaps ?
Yes Hannah, women who want more should keep a ‘meek spirit’ and not complain. I suppose like the 50s which was one of the highest times antipdepressants were prescribed.
I have a question for you. Do you consider women who monetize their blogs or write ebooks working women or not. For example, people who write columns in this very site ? Tell me, there is no time away from their children and they are ‘perfect’ moms. In my opinion they are working moms, they just are lucky enough to do it wthout an office. But to pretend they are SAHMs is ridiculous.
For the record, I think SAHMs should not be derided for their choices. But by that token so should working moms. All moms want the best for their children. Elevating a SAHM or a working mom to saint hood is detrimental and leads to ridiculous mommy wars even among christians. And finally, please do not compare real missionaries who slog in dangerous conditions often with the threat of imprisonmemt, most in third world countries to bring the word of God and put their lives on line to suburban or rural American SAHM moms as a ‘ministry field’. You are cheapening what these brave missionaries do.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE point #2!!!
I have never understood people who say, “I would never have the patience to stay at home with the kids; I need more than that,” as if the fact that I needed “less” than that made me somehow inferior. If you don’t have the patience to stay home with your kids, then perhaps you should be raising your kids to be more fun to be around?
And really, the few times that I have had to do things all day, and then return to make dinner, are exhausting. Nothing is more exhausting than working at another job all day, and then coming home with all the pressure to now “make up for lost time”. No wonder people don’t think kids are fun; they’re not if you live in that kind of chaos.
Live with them all day, and get into a routine, and it’s really quite fun. And if people don’t think it is, then why did they have children? Maybe that’s harsh, but that’s the way I see it!
Sheila from To Love, Honor and Vacuum.
Wow–Great post! I used to believe every one of these myths (lies, they are ). I am so thankful to be a homemaker–I was a nurse in my other life as well
I love this so much. It really does reinforce the real reason why I am at home. Too many times I look at different avenues such as working part time, doing a business, etc but for a person like me I cannot handle all that plus the house chores and kids. I only know what I can handle. Then I am reminded why I am at home, if I want to really use my homemaking skills, instead of looking to do something where i can get recognition, I should reach out more and that’s when I step up and bring gifts, home cooked meals, watch kids, send encouraging texts and emails to my friends who are working and can’t be home with the kids or busy moms. It’s truly a wonderful feeling. Not because I get recognition (don’t let your left hand know what your right is doing) but because I
know God is smiling down on me and I can be a blessing and allow God to use me to encourage other women. (Working moms need tremendous encouragement)
Thank you for this.
Oh how I would love every Christian Mama to read this post! Thank you for these precious reminders, Hannah.
Excellent!!!! I love this! I am going to have to share it. I wasn’t raised in a home where my mother valued homemaking. She did everything to avoid being at home…between teaching full-time (when we didn’t need the additional income) and then spending her off time earning 3 more masters degrees. She was an excellent teacher and still has great relationships with some of her former students and their children…but sadly she is more distant with her own children.
She is completely baffled by the fact that I love homemaking and am so happy to be able to be homemaking and homeschooling full time. I have faced most of the myths that you shared above…and have learned to answer the questions they raise with my relatives. But the best way I have found to address them is to just be happy and share joy through the ministry that God has given me in our home. There was a time when I had a job in the workforce…but I am so much happier now that I am home ministering to my family full time. Thank you so much for sharing this!!!
Dancing with my family at the foot of the Cross,
Mrs Mary Joy Pershing
When people tell me that my kids are going to be different, I say, “Great!”. I thoroughly enjoyed this read! Yes, I’m broke, but only the American version of broke. Compared to the rest of the world, I’m filthy stinkin’ rich AND have a fantastic, well-behaved, intelligent, and loving family to boot!
I started my own Etsy shop at the end of 2010 and have learned a lot. My blog is on a bit of a vacation right now, but every day in April and May, I interviewed different shop owners, extracting nuggets of wisdom and personality along the way. Hope this can be helpful to others wanting to open their own Etsy shop.
Love, love, love this! This so eloquently spells out everything I believe about homemaking and how it really is a career that needs to be learned and then applied in order to be good at it. Yet it is far more important than almost any other career out there. Thanks for this. I think I will also share it on FB.
Well, we should be thankful we live in the United States where we have the luxury of choosing to be at home. Most women around the world *must* work to keep their family fed and clothed. Are they not living in “truth and fineness?”
Read ‘Half the Sky’ and ‘Half the Church’ to get a better picture of women’s lives around the globe.
At the risk of sounding unoriginal – Love it, love it, love it! And a big fat, AMEN!
Has anyone read the Flip Side of Feminism? I recently heard an inverview on Focus on the Family with the authors. I am going to get it the library; but I really enjoyed the interview and authors insights in how feminism has destroyed many things, one of them being how they think being at home is worthless.
I loved my job working at school with young children, but when mine came along I decided to stay at home with them. I never regret my choice to stay home and give them the love and attention they so need and deserve. We didn’t have any extra material things, but lots of love nurturing and time together. I have 4 wonderful grown children who know the meaning of God and his amazing grace. I am 58 years old and back working in pre-k. If I had continuned working , I could be retired. Just think of all the things I would have missed with my children whom God blessed me with. Maybe now I can still make a difference in the little lives I see each day at work.
Hannah… Great article. I need to read this to my kids
I just told my daughter yesterday…”I’m investing in the future rather than investing in temporary rewards. Someday you’ll understand”
Thanks for sharing… Love you and your fantastic example to all of us. Blessings, Amy
Insert applause here! Great post, thank you for sharing!
Jennifer @ http://justpeachyindixie.blogspot.com
Thanks so much for an on-target post! My pet peeve is the one about ministry. I read a very popular “Christian” woman’s book about how she gets it all done. I was really annoyed when I read that she hired someone out to clean her house and shop for her groceries, but when I got to the part about her leaving her son with other people over 50% of the time so that she could go “minister”, I threw away the book (and all the rest of her books while I was at it).
No wonder she gets so much “ministry” done. She neglects her home, her family, her God-given responsibilities.
Thanks for an excellent post! Believe it or not, this is sorely needed in the Christian community.
Thank you for this:) I was needing some encouragement today and its good to know I’m not the only out there that loves my “job” as a wife, mother and homemaker:)
What a great article. I, too, have a pet peeve with people who say they can’t stand to be around children. (Secretly I think maybe the kids can’t stand them either?) I also get ruffled when a Mom looks at me and says “my kids need time away from me”, or” I could never be with my kids all day, I’d go crazy!” I wonder if they hear themselves when they say that? OR what message they are sending their children, the children hear us say these things too. The truth is if you are so stretched that you can’t be with your children all day then maybe you need to take stock of your priorities. This is not to say that every day is utopia at my house! There are many days when I feel as though I am losing my mind and they are in charge of the battle! But is that any different than when I was working? In fact it is, they are invested in me and I in them, they care when I am hurting, or sick, or tired, and they try to help me through those moments, my boss never did!
Ann
What a beautifully written and poignant article! Thank you so much for sharing your much needed thoughts on a right perspective in our so important role as women at home!
Excellent!! I couldn’t have said it better myself. I love the part about patience. I hear it all the time – early on, when I didn’t put my kids in pre-school, and then later, when I decided to homeschool. The minute someone finds out they are with me pretty much 24/7, I get that comment. I’ve always been honest and told people that I wasn’t patient either, but now I will definately have to rework my response on this one. I suffer under no illusions that just because two of my children are grown and finished with school, that I will never hear that remark again.
HEAR! HEAR! I agree we have lived under poverty level for years as a family of four without government help and choose to have less instead of more with Gods help (wanna add that in very important part) You know Hannah my motto the less you have the more you have…. Great read and it’s inspiring. It’s always good to remember that home ministry is real ministry…now off to clean the house
It is absolutely possible to help in ministry at your church and NOT neglect your family at all. I teach in Sunday School at church and prepare for my lesson one evening a week after the kids are in bed and I spent time with my husband. I wholeheartedly agree that family is ministry. It is my primary one. But, imagine if all the moms quit volunteering at church. Church ministries already have a hard time finding enough people to help, I think because so many families have already over-committed themselves. Please don’t make it out like women who minister at church are some how depriving our families. I believe it is a command from God that we use our gifts and abilities to benefit the church. It’s biblical. Yes, that can be done through meal-bringing and the other things you mentioned, but it can also be done through mentoring teenagers or welcoming visitors or teaching Sunday School, all WITHOUT depriving our families of ANYTHING.
Thank you so much Hannah! This was an amazing post to read and so encouraging, I so wish we could talk over a cup of coffee!!
I enjoyed reading this article. I have been reading your blog for maybe 30 days. But, I would like to know what are the possibilities of being a stay at home mom for single parents. Do you have any readers or close friends who are in fact single and able to not work out of the home? This is just something you may want to consider writing on in the future, because not every household today is mom, dad, and 2.5 kids.
Thank you, everyone, for encouraging me by sharing how this article encouraged you! What a blessing!
To Rita who asked about her daughter who cannot find a man who will marry a woman who desires to be a homemaker: kudos to her for not settling for a man who does not share her Biblically based values! I would encourage her to be consistant in prayer and in entering into a church fellowship where the young men are taught to value home and family.
Misha, I don’t know you but I will kindly answer your questions. We lived in the city for the first nine years of our marriage and I began my job as full time homemaker two yrs into our marriage, with our daughter’s birth. We saved and bought wisely for our first two homes so that we could sell them for more than we bought them for, allowing us to move out of the city.
I know that just as I don’t know you, you do not know me ~ I do not live near most of my family as you suppose or receive any help whatsoever with my children or homemaking from any family members but what a blessing that must be for those who have close extended families! My younger sister came for two days after our most recent child was born to play and help with our older five children, which was a beautiful blessing.
We budgeted and saved for driving to NC to see my aging grandparents as we cannot afford to fly. I don’t see any need to apologize for budgeting a trip to see relatives who have cancer, do you?
I do not consider our children a burden, and so *no* I do not nag my husband about them, to take them off my hands when he gets home. I rejoice in the relationship he has with them and with the care he gives them. I believe, if you’ll read my article again, you’ll see I encourage homemakers to fellowship with other women ~ and it is a blessing! There is no need for lonliness, which was the myth I was addressing.
I think it is a wonderful blessing to a home if there is a monetary need and the women can find time to write a book, or sell her handwork or generate income with her writing. I believe the Prov. 31 woman used her home as the basis for many wise income producing ventures and still clearly was a keeper of her home.
I do not dare to cheapen what missionaries do, but by the same measure I will not have motherhood cheapened~ there we must agree to disagree, I suppose. If you believe that motherhood or homemaking is an attempt at self-righteousness, then you are mistaken. As horrible as you believe me to be ~ I assure you I’m much worse. I am not a perfect mother or perfect wife. I do not have a perfect family pedigree or perfect bank account. I am such a sinner but I do have a Saviour who loves me and died for all my mess ups. Anything good people see is Him and His love in me. Any good I do is out of love for Him. Including following His word and being a keeper at home.
Blessings,
Hannah
@ Mish here is a myth for you…. people can live in the city and do this too! I’m not lying I swear. Our neighborhood isn’t one I would leave my windows open at night in but this is where the good Lord planted us…As for my husband he grew up in the war-torn country of Cambodia (during Pol- Pots reign) living in a camp or “tent” for the first 6 years of his life sooooo it’s quite nice to him if you know what I mean. He’s a refugee working at a donut factory and I stay at home with the kids. We don’t live in the country and even if we did some affordable homes can be found and saved for. It’s not the point really I have friends that homeschool…I have friends that work…I have friends that do both…and at some point there kids will be grown and leading there own life equipped with whatever they have learned and under Gods watchful eye. Then us mothers will have lots of free time to choose what to do with… when the nest is empty right? Go to work maybe…. We might want more…. maybe not… work at home become missionaries; volunteer it depends on the income and how they choose to live really.
I think the point is that Homemaking is a Job and yes lot’s of homemakers work on blogs and home businesses as well but even if they didn’t it’s still work and very important work at that. The time at home working is different than the time at an outside job working. At a paid job you have set hours. At a home business you have go as you can hours. Does this take away time from the kids… blogs… ebooks and businesses?… it can I figure… I guess it depends on when you do it and lets take into consideration that no one is perfect. I am a work in progress for real. Right now I’m typing sitting in the bathroom while my daughter takes a bath…I know she likes water so she should be in there for the next hour while I sip some lemon-aid and get some R&R the way I like it…So I’m right here she seems content with me typing away so I utilized my time and everyone is none the wiser except the water in the tub almost overflowed. My son is at my mothers which he just started sleeping there once a month this last year. Before that I never had anyone watch him or her but three times maybe and he’s almost 6. So not everyone has help from others either. I also garden and that takes lots of time too. We have a very small backyard but it’s set up so we get the most of it. The children love doing it and it still involves spending time with them.
So then what about blogs and e-books and selling stuff? Well in American we do have more free time then any other country in the world. Hopefully your home and life is organized enough that some amount of time in the day can be spent on yourself yes YOURSELF cause even God knows we have hobbies and dreams and need a little down time. I usually get this early in the am and when the kids are going to sleep oh yes and taking baths maybe I have trained them to take really long baths so I can work on my lap top I don’t know. Plus there’s nothing selfish about time management. But at other times I don’t use my time in a wise manner and God redirects me thankfully. I did go to college and at some point I want to pay all my loans back and have a business. It’s not wrong but it’s not yet.
As for fancy vacations we are on a under $22.000 a year budget and it used to be $15.000 so we feel like we are living large now if you know what I mean. Stuff for me isn’t so important plus there’s lots of ways to get nice stuff cheap!….We go camping and to the local zoo and they like it just fine. I didn’t go on fancy vacations growing up at least not that I remember and at one point where homeless and I turned out just fine…..sooner or later…
So the question remains is Hannah out of touch with reality? I certainly don’t think so I know her personally nor is she snobbish or a trust fund baby. We have different lives but share the same God, hopes and dreams for our kids that everyone does. We just choose to do it this way. Which isn’t right or wrong…As for missionaries that is their individual choice and one that God has lead them to. I personally know missionaries and have been lucky to be mentored by them for the last 5 years they even helped save my brother’s life… So hey do believe raising your children to become the next generation of christens isn’t just a walk in the park. They brought there kids to Africa with them they know…It’s serious and at times I forget what a blessing it really is…now off to wash my kids hair….hope this helps dispel the myth…oh and my husband spent 7 years of his youth in jail so quite frankly we are far from this picture you are painting about what a SAHM family is all about you can be certain about that. We can however have something in common even from the different backgrounds and be united in Christ! Thank God for that……..and now I just spent my only free time ticket tonight on this one so it looks like I’ll blog in the am…
Absolutely love this! And a big AMEN to the ministry myth. I always reference back to the Titus 2 passage that says when a woman is not properly taking care of her home, she is blaspheming the word of God! Also, the passage in the Gospels where Jesus calls the little children and says “This is the kingdom of heaven.” When I stand before the Lord one day, I don’t want to have to tell him that I had more important things to do than caring for the little ones in His kingdom, especially the ones He placed in my home.
Thanks so much for posting this! I have always admired my own Mom who stayed home with my sister and me , and now I am following in her footsteps
I LOVE the fact that my husband also feels the same and supports me in the decision to stay home with our 2 year old son and 2 week old twin boys 
I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a Mommy and a homemaker….so thankful the Lord has allowed us this opportunity with our young ones, they grow up too fast to waste such precious time and memories. 
What a joy it was to read this article Dispelling Myths About Homemaking and finding your website! And as Catie above wrote: “Love it, love it, love it!”
Hannah,
No, I do not think you are a horrible person at all. In fact you seem like a loving mother and if you have had your choice to be a SAHM questioned and derided by people. I can very well relate to that, Except it will be for the opposite reason . See, I have a part time job and my field happens to take me outside the home. We do not have family nearby so our children are looked after by a friend. I would love to tell you the reason I work is to have my family take vacations or that we have a huge house, fancy cars and I was doing so to support our lifestyle. But my husband had a job with health insurance that allowed me to stay at home and was laid off a while ago. He is willing to do almost anything, but he is one of the nation’s underemployed. I was tired of seeing my husband stretched thin with holding multiple part time jobs not in his field with odd hours just to make ends meet, worry about paying the bills and mortgage month after month, scared that one of us would become ill and not be able to pay for medical costs. Food costs a lot especially if you do not have land to grow or raise animals and not willing to buy processed food, just fresh fruit and vegetables. Selling our house in this economy is not an option as most in my neighborhood are short sales or foreclosures. My field which is in medicine gave me a steady job with health insurance. It almost tore me in two when I went back to work, but the anxiety which we had regarding being homeless or having the electric shut off has gone.
I do pay my friend to watch my children as my husband’s work hours are erratic, it helps her family as an additional source of income in these economic times when her husband’s work hours have been cut too. For my choice of working outside the home, I have been derided by so called christian women for not ‘having enough faith, not leaning on the Lord enough’, my husband called a bad provider and me being a ‘bad home maker’. Am I a bad mother beause I chose to go back to work to put food on the table, keep a roof over our heads because my education allowed me to get a job in this economy ? I made a choice for my family, my husband’s health and our finances.
To all the women who have a blog, write ebooks and make money off it, please consider yourself lucky that you have the talent and audience to allow you to work from home. My talent is in a different field that takes me from my home,. Not every working woman is working to live a lavish lifestyle, especially in this economy. This is a myth too.
And again, while I have the deepest respect for what mothers do, being one myself, I would not consider myself even close to being a missionary and I do not think I cheapen mother hood by saying that. So we will have to agree to disagree on that.
Wonderful post. I am a single mom of two and would have loved to have had the opportunity to stay home with my kids, but that, obviously waas/is not possible!
I so needed this. Especially the Last few. I find your blog very refreshing and I love your linky days. I wish I had time to explore all the good things I find here.
Such a wonderful read for me today & so encouraging. I need to cultivate patience!
Thank you for a lovely post. We make less than 40K a year, have no debt (aside from our mortgage) and feel like we live a comfortable life. It is possible, but takes discipline and prayer.
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