In Whose Abilities Are We Trusting?

by Sarah Mae on June 21, 2010 in Uncategorized

Raising homemakers

I can remember being five and telling my mother that all I wanted to do in life was stay home and be a mom.  She explained to me that all young women need an education so they can have a career, “just in case.” So that is how I lived my life, always expecting to be a working mother.

Nearly twenty years ago we started our homeschooling adventure. Through going to conferences and meeting other homsechoolers we were exposed to many new ideas which gave us a new vision for how we wanted to raise our daughters. I began to pray about the different ways that I could train our daughters to be women whose future families would arise and call them blessed. During these early years we had many struggles to overcome. I had two miscarriages, three babies in three years, several moves, and Sarah, our second, had issues with seizures that took us several years to control. Many days left me feeling like an utter failure.  I questioned whether my children would be taught enough or have the necessary homemaking skills.

As I been to see fruit, I began to realize that it wasn’t about a system or method. No secret formula was going to make my girls turn out the way we wanted. It was about trusting in God’s character to overcome my short comings and failures.  I realized I didn’t have the capability to make my girls Godly young women.  Only God had that ability. My job was to have faith, and to train up my daughters in His way.

As we have gone through the years I have made many mistakes, but I have tried to be transparent with the girls about them.  While I have high standards for work and we strive to do things to the best of our ability, things don’t always work out the way we desire.  It has been important to teach them how to respond with a Godly attitude when things don’t go according to plan.  When things work out just like we want, it’s easy to respond appropriately. It is when we meet with adversity that our true character shines through.

This spring we were blessed when our oldest daughter, Lindsay, was married. It was a day we had worked toward and prayed about for 25 years.  God has been merciful in allowing me to see that though I have many failings and didn’t do everything just right, He is faithful.  He is in control of the outcome and always has been, whether I recognized it or not.  As mothers we often feel like the success or failure of our daughters depends on us. We are the ones who are charged with training them to be keepers at home and we often bear burdens that are much heavier than our shoulders were meant to bear. We need to be placing our burdens at the foot of the cross, trusting in God’s faithfulness, not our own.

Lora headshotLora is the wife of 26 years to Gene and the mother of 5 daughters who range in age from 14 to 25.  This fall she will be entering her 20th year homeschooling.  She is a self taught homemaker who has had many shortcomings to overcome.  Her desire is to raise Godly daughters that will be called blessed by their future husbands and children.  She loves to encourage women to love their husbands, their children, and their role as homemakers.  She enjoys gardening, reading, photography, and writing; though she isn’t able to devote the time to them that she would like.  She writes at My Simple Life and Keeth Family Homemaking.

Sarah Mae

Sarah Mae loves God and the beauty He weaves; His grace overwhelms her. She is the wife of Jesse (her rock and super handy-man dude) and the proud mommy of two lovely daughters and one busy little boy. Her days are spent hanging out with her babes, homeschooling, writing, and drinking salted caramel mochas. She writes at Sarah Mae, is a contributor to (in)courage, the author of Desperate - Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, and is the creator of Raising Homemakers.

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{ 16 comments }

Mama Mirage June 21, 2010

Thank you for the encouraging post! My mom didn’t start out homeschooling us, and though my heart was always to be a wife and mother, that’s all I ever wanted, even when she did start homeschooling us, it took years for her to come to the point of raising us with the purpose of being Godly homemakers rather than of going to college. She was sick and bedridden for most of my childhood and I was nearly a teenager by the time she was healed. I started my journey as a wife and mother not knowing a whole lot about being a homemaker, but my mother did pass on to me the gift of the desire to learn and grow in the the Lord. So here I am with 2 little ones and another on the way, trying to follow God’s leading to become the wife and mother that He has planned for me to be. Some days I get frustrated, sidetracked, hung up on all that I don’t know how to do and all the mistakes I make on the way. What it comes down to, like you said, is putting my faith in God and not myself. I’m so far from perfect I’m not even on the charts. I just have to keep going to the Lord in prayer for my babies that they grow up to love and serve Him with all their hearts DESPITE me, because I know as flawed and human as I am they surely won’t BECAUSE of me. I’ll just keep daily praying for grace and wisdom and trying to have faith that my mistakes will work together for my children’s ultimate good in Christ because I love Him and keep trying (and stumbling and trying again…) to do what He wants me to.

Debbie June 21, 2010

Lora – I so appreciated your post. The first paragraph is the SAME thing that happened to me – only my mom didn’t tell me I had to do anything different – it was everybody else. I can remember answering “Teacher” whenever somebody asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, knowing that “Be a wife & mom” was no longer acceptable – and I was only about 5, too.

Thank you for writing this. I so often take on the burden of shaping my children, instead of leading them – and its no wonder I end up exhausted. I am learning that I have to LIVE OUT my life for God in a way that my girls can see every day – and it challenges me every single day. And feeling the “success or failure of our daughters depends on” me is something I struggle with, too. This encourages me so much. I needed this reminder today!

Robin June 21, 2010

Thank you so much for this encouragement! It is so easy for me to try to shape my children into what I think they should be, and to try to steer them into the way I think they should go. Thank you for reminding me to let God worry about that, while I only need to bring them up to follow Him!

Courtney@womenlivingwell June 21, 2010

I love this line of wisdom: “No secret formula was going to make my girls turn out the way we wanted.” Oh I wish there were a secret formula that I could follow step by step with a guarantee! It takes faith and faithfulness – you are so right!
Thanks for the encouragement today!
Courtney
http://www.womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com

Dianne June 21, 2010

Beautiful and encouraging

Jamie June 21, 2010

Thanks for a wonderful post. I, too, experience the same sort of thing, being taught to have a career “just in case.” Isn’t it wonderful to see so many other families who are trying to counteract what we were taught? But it sure is a battle sometimes, so thanks for a dose of encouragement.

I am so thankful for knowing that God’s grace will cover those things I do so imperfectly in parenting! As you said, all we can do is trust in Him, rather than our own abilities (or lack thereof, as the case may be!) and to keep our focus on living our lives for Christ.

Lora K. June 21, 2010

Thanks for all of your kind comment!

Bobbi June 21, 2010

Lora,

When I told my high school guidance counsellor that I wanted to be a wife and mother she derided me and told me that I was too smart for that. I caught the “baby bug” when I was 4, and could never imagine having a life without children. I, however, dutifully listened to all of the influences in my life and started planning for college and career. It took God a few years, and a series of teaching sessions to shake me back to my senses. Today, I praise God that I am expecting our 8th child, and have been a full time mommy for our children since day 1.

Your post really hit home, as I now realize that Satan is using the same line to derail other Godly women from their calling, not just me. Thank you for writing.

I also have a child with seizure disorder–our oldest–and we are just beginning to see a light at the end of that tunnel. His seizures seem to be mostly under control for now, and I pray that they remain that way.

May God continue to bless you and your precious girls.

Lora Keeth June 22, 2010

Bobbi,
Thanks for writing. I know how hard the trial of getting seizures under control can be. I am happy that things are finally beginning to level out for you. Don’t be surprised if when he hits his teens(if he hasn’t already) things change somewhat and have to be worked out again.

I will pray for you as you walk this path.

Renee June 22, 2010

Beautiful post!
I too was raise with the ‘just in case’ mentality from my mother and now 4 years after being married and 3 little girls later I am still learning what being a godly wife, mother and homemaker is!!!!

thanks for the encouraging words!!!

Renee

Kelsey June 23, 2010

Dear Sarah Mae,

I am in a battle right now. There is a woman posting on my Mother’s blog (www.ahomemakersheart.blogspot.com) that her Stay-at-Home-Daughter posts sound opressive, and I told this woman that I am not opressed, that I believe this is what Christ wants for me, to be a homemaker, a teacher, a nuturer, it’s not a curse to women but I blessing!
This post came in my email this morning, and it really encouraged me, and my situation. Thank you so very much.

I love this blog of yours, it is an encouragement to young ladies like me, who strive to serve God and their families.

Thank you, Thank you,
Kelsey

Amber June 23, 2010

I am so happy to be reading this site! I can really relate to this post in particular. I always wanted to be a Wife and a Mom to a large family, from as early as I can remember. My Mom, with best intentions derived from her own worries, also told me that I needed a “back up plan” “just in case” and pushed college. I trudged through 5 years of school because I thought I needed the “back up plan” and became a teacher, acruing large debt in college loans. I taught a few years (mostly hating it)and determined when our first was born that it felt completely wrong to leave our babe in the care of strangers only to spend all day ‘raising’ other people’s children. After our first was born, I became a stay at home mom (currently to 3, with our 4th on the way) and feel that it truely is my calling. We also homeschool. If only I could trade that expensive college education, for which we still struggle under the burden of debt that came attached to it, for the mentoring of an older, Godly woman who could have shown me in my youth her wisdom on being a home maker. I do believe that the “back up plan” is a lie from Satan, and acruing debt to make it happen is an even bigger sadness to our Savior.

Lora K. June 30, 2010

Amber,
I can only imagine how overwhelming the debt from college can weigh on a young mother. I wrote about this in the past, if you are interested, here is the link to the article. http://lora.keethfamily.com/?p=173 I am thankful that you found the post encouraging.

Carrie June 23, 2010

Such a good reminder – thank you! I needed this tonight!

Annie June 26, 2010

“Just in case” sometimes actually happens. My mother was widowed when she was 42 years old, after 22 years homemaking, she always told me to have a career plan “Just in case”. After our daughter was born my husband and I decided that I would stay home to take care of them…my husband died of brain cancer at 37 years old. I’m so thankful that I have skills that I can work outside the home, I’m thankful that my daughter attends a wonderful Christian school where God not only provided a wonderful Christ centered education, but also a job for me.

While I would love nothing more than to be at home taking care of my family, sometimes “just in case” comes along. I’m not where I thought that I would be…but I know that I’m where God wants me to be.

I will raise my daughter with homemaking skills and pray that one day she will be able to stay home and know the joy of raising a family…but “just in case” I will encourage her to get a university education…always asking where God wants her to serve.

Lora K. June 30, 2010

Annie,
I’m sorry that things have been rough for you, and have no idea how hard it must be to be raising a family by yourself. I understand that you want your daughter to be prepared, but I would suggest there are other ways for her to be prepared other than with a college degree. I didn’t cover it in this article due to the constraints of space. If you are interested and would like to know what I have said about it in the past, you can read my post here: http://lora.keethfamily.com/?p=173

I pray that God’s mercies will be upon you as you strive to serve Him in the midst of difficult circumstances.

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