Does your heart long to be at home, but you’re not able to? What happens when your husband wants you to work? Do you even struggle with bitterness against him? What’s a woman supposed to do?
First of all, I think we would all agree that our motive for living is to bring glory to Christ. He is the reason we should desire to be home in the first place. Our second motive for being home should be to bless our husbands and children, creating a place of refuge and solace. So, first we must examine our own hearts and ask why we want to stay home.
Now, your motives are right, but your husband still desires you to work outside the home. What is the next step? I Peter 3 gives us a clear picture of how to handle this: Peter states that even if a husband is not obeying the Word(believer or unbeliever would apply here), God can use our obedience of submission to win his heart, as he observes our respectful and proper behavior. Sarah is given as an example of obeying Abraham, without giving way to fear. What a powerful lesson for us! Do you know why Sarah could obey without fear, even when her husband failed to protect her on more than one occasion? Because she was entrusting herself to her God, trusting that her obedience to God would bring a blessing to herself and her husband. Dear reader, you can rest and pray to a God who is over all and can even change the heart of a king, let alone your husband!
Your husband is under the authority of Christ and you are under your husband’s authority according to I Corinthians 11. This simply means your husband must answer to the Lord for how He leads your family, including the decision to have you work outside the home. What must you be concerned about? How you respond to the authority in your life, namely your husband~that is what God is going to hold you accountable for. If you are struggling with guilt over the fact you are not at home, you are carrying a responsibility that is not given to you. You must answer to the Lord for how you respond to the authority He has placed in your life, even a difficult one. Could it be that sometimes God does not give us what we want because He has a greater purpose in mind or something He is trying to teach us? And since God is sovereign, He has allowed the difficult situation of being torn between being a homemaker and pleasing a husband who wants you to work outside the home. Can God use a difficult situation like this to help you grow to become more like Him? Of course, He can!
I do not want you to read this and think being submissive in this area means you are silent. It is not wrong for a wife to privately go to her husband and tell him that while you wish to submit to him in this area, you also realize he must answer to God for the decision He makes and the consequences that may result. Respectfully go to your husband and share with him your heart and scripturally why you believe God would have you home. Your husband needs to see you want to please and bless him by remaining in the home and then pray for God’s guidance in your husband’s life.
Many husbands can’t see a way financially to make it without an extra income~is there a creative way for you to contribute money through a home business~the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 was a “working” woman~she was not idle. However, her work revolved around her home. Your husband needs to see you will continue to be industrious, but you will be serving him, not another man out in the workforce. Not only can money be earned, but could you help save money in practical ways such as clipping coupons, sewing, gardening, cooking from scratch~the list here is endless. There are many blogs written by moms for moms that want to save money so they can be home. (One of my personal favorites is Crystal Paine’s “Moneysavingmom”) I suggest working out a plan on paper, showing your husband where you can help make up the extra by either earning money at home or cutting expenses so he can see how it will work. Ask him to consider a 30 day trial period to allow you to cut expenses. Also, consider the extra expense it actually costs to have you work–extra car, gas, clothing, food out, higher tax bracket, etc. Larry Burkett, as well as James Dobson, came out with a list of all the money it actually costs to have a woman in the work force and at the end of the list of added expenses, it was really very little take home pay after all!
Now, here’s a challenge: are you willing to be content and live on less? Many times, husbands are reluctant to let a wife stay home because she has expensive buying habits that can only be satisfied with an extra income. It takes sacrifice to be a SAHM mom from both husband and wife. Bless your husband, ladies! Show him you want to be a blessing to him by caring for your home and children~if he can see your heart is to be a helper to him, it can go a long way in allowing you to be home.
{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow. It’s amazing how God works. I’m facing this very issue right now struggling with the desire to stay home but knowing that we NEED the extra income. I’ve been trying to learn to sew in order to find a way to moe money from home but still it takes money that we don’t have right now. I was blessed this week to find a job opportunity that I am currently praying about at my church’s preschool and my kids would be allowed to go for free while I worked there. I will continue to pray every day that I will be able to return to being a SAHM by the time my oldest is to old to attend anymore but am learning to leave it all in God’s hands and timing. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not alone in this. I know God will continent doing great things thru this site.
i like the point that we are to glorify GOD in all we do. but a key point was missed. some of us are single mothers. in which case our husbands have either passed or decided that they didn’t want to be the head of a household. i’m not trying to be divisive and i don’t agree with divorce. but it could have been taken into account.
Actually, the key point you refer to: “women whose husbands have left or passed on” is the exact environment I grew up in. My father died when I was a teenager with 3 younger siblings at home, leaving my mother a widow at the young age of 36. I grew up with a working mom because she had no other choice and she was still my spiritual hero. She did what she had to do until she remarried at the age of 56 and was able to be a SAHM mom to a wonderful missionary. I can empathize with single moms as I now have two younger sisters who also are single moms~I’m sorry you felt it was deliberately looked over~that was not my intention.
Blessings,
Rhonda Devine
I’m a new reader here… I have to say this post was a little discouraging to me. In a sense it implies that the husband whose wife works outside of their home is not seeking God’s perfect will for their family. I certainly wouldn’t want to make that decision for someone else or for that matter judge someone else because of it. Unfortunately though this is why so many working moms feel that they are looked down on by SAHM’s.
I’m sure this wasn’t how the post was meant to come across but felt the need to share my feelings.
The purpose of the post was to specifically address women who have asked, “What do I do when I feel God’s will is for me to be home and my husband feels it is God’s will is for me to be in the workforce.
I was offering women in that situation encouragement and a plan to move forward instead of living a life of bitterness.
Blessings,
Rhonda Devine
Like I said in my original post, I’m sure this wasn’t how the post was meant to come across but felt the need to share my feelings. My apologies for offending.
I’ve been there. As soon as my husband’s income was enough to get by, we talked about it and I quit my job to be a SAHM/homemaker.
I love it. I’m fulfilling my purpose and raising my children. I couldn’t imagine having to go back to working outside the home at this point.
I thank God that He has made it possible for me to be at home.
I’m, very blessed with a husband that wants me home
I love this post, it’s a very encouraging one for those who wish they could be home !
I don’t think it’s wise to take the “party line” on this in this day and age and assume it’s God’s will for women to always be stay-at-home moms and raise all our daughters to live this way. I have been a sahm all my life, both when I was married and after my husband left, but not because I believe that is God’s perfect revealed will. It is because I deeply believe that to keep kids safe and emotionally intact they must be supervised by loving authority as much as possible. I am not a person who is taking the opposite view out of defensiveness, because I do not work outside the home. Therefore I hope you will give the following statements a fair hearing:
Being a homemaker is more about the pioneer American lifestyle than about the Bible or traditional Christian living. I know it’s been overly quoted but really girls, is there anything in good old Proverbs 31 that suggests the traditional housewife, making pies, sewing dresses, and homeschooling? Please, this powerful and godly woman is a businesswoman and a leader. You betcha her children or at least her sons went to school elsewhere and went to work early, and that she had help with them when they were babies. Heck, she had servants! Do you suppose she spent her days with her hands in the dishwater? I doubt it.
It is not right to take the Bible and pick it apart, molding it to fit whatever lifestyle you think is best, and calling that the only correct way. There is plenty of support both in the Bible and in historical Christianity for all kinds of lifestyles for women as long as they are morally excellent. This is the kind of nit-picking that Paul discouraged and Jesus forbade. There is no point in making working moms feel inferior. Out struggle is with sin, not with the working mothers of America.
Thanks for your thoughts, Kat. However, I humbly must disagree with a few points you make. Taking the Bible as a whole(not just pulling out one section such as Proverbs 31), if you take into account instructions to the church in I Timothy, Titus, and I Peter as well as Proverbs 31~it encourages women to be in the home, managing it–yes, because it is her career and calling, so that the Word of God would not be blasphemed–that’s pretty serious. The virtuous woman had many talents and she was using them all to bless her husband and household~we may not all sew or homeschool~that’s not the point. The point is the virtuous woman bought land and ran a home business so she could bless her husband and household, not so she could justify having a career. Many SAHM moms do all sort of creative things to bring in extra income and if you continue reading articles on Raising Homemakers, you will find a variety of women represented~not all are just into domestic arts~God gives us a wide variety of talents to use in blessing our husbands and homes.
Our problem in America is sin and one of those sins is a whole generation of women that has rejected God’s role for them. Let us as mothers, not be guilty of such a sin.
Blessings,
Rhonda Devine
The problem is, in this part of the world and in this time, if we don’t arm our children with skills, work experience and education, we are leaving them defenseless against the possibility of having to get work that actually pays if they need to. Though many still subscribe to the traditional or Patriarchal way of life, it is extremely hard to carry off alone. If left without a husband, the woman who has no “credentials” can be left trying to raise a family on minimum wage or even worse, as a “subcultural” person dependent on government assistance. Often a woman left in these straits is not only given no assistance from the Christian community, she is often looked down on as a failure for not keeping the traditional family structure together.
Furthermore, the structure of Patriarchy itself leaves many women and girls vulnerable to exploitation, abuse and neglect. If not kept in check by a strong network of accountability, a lone male leader on any level can fall away and take down entire communities with him. This has happened so many times it has become a joke in the non-christian world. The patriarchal way of life isn’t ideal by any means, and it’s not right to call it “Biblical”.
If you want to take the Bible as a “whole”, some sort of description of ideal family life, I might remind you, it isn’t, but rather a compilation of all the relevant sacred writings the Council of Nicea could find which agreed with their doctrinal consensus. The New Testament letters you cited are Paul’s advice to the various churches, mostly Jews, living in an extremely patriarchal societies. The society we live in is more akin to Rome, and Paul’s letter to the Romans is perhaps the best advice for us. Focus on Christ, arm ourselves against the enemies of the spirit, and go out to battle.
Ask yourselves ladies: Is it really wise or helpful for some of the best women in the world to hide away at home while the workplace is taken over completely by the ungodly? If you want to stay home, stay home. I did. But don’t go advertising it as God’s will for all women. That is a narrow and false view which divides the church today.
Respectfully, as a guest I would just like to say that I disagree with the statement made that
“the virtuous woman bought land and ran a home business so she could bless her husband and household, not so she could justify having a career.”
I’m assuming that we all agree that women and men were created for the primary purpose of glorifying God; therefore, my thought is that women, whatever their chosen profession, are simply built to CREATE, in order to imitate our Maker. This includes creating art with our hands, speaking life into others (whether family or not), and overall fulfilling our individual purposes; following the desires of our hearts. It is not purely to honor our households.
The world as a whole will be a better place because we will be doing what God intended us to do, whether it’s sewing or advocating on behalf of trafficked children or farming or being the CEO of an eco-conscious company. and although the family unit is greatly blessed, it is not the sole reason for what we do. Thank you for this forum, and for allowing me to post in this comment section.
Unfortunately, many women will use this as a ploy to sit back and relax and have fun during the day, while their husbands toil under stress and hostile working conditions. If you’re going to be a stay at home mother, turn the TV off, stay off the computer and be sure that your days work is as long and industrious as your husband’s…!
AGREE
Thank you. Sometimes it is hard to be seemingly surrounded by those who support the idea of being a SAHM. There are those of us whose husbands simply don’t. Mine says, ‘why should you get to stay home if I don’t?’ It also seems like every time I read something on this topic, the author assumes that both the husband and wife would like the wife to be at home. I read something yesterday on Faith and Family that really struck home with me. It was about each of us having a cross to bear, and if it’s not the one that you have, it would be something else. This may have been the one I was given. I need to quit focusing on my unhappiness (and yes, bitterness) and move forward to doing what God wants me to do in the situation I’m in NOW. Maybe it will eventually change, maybe not. But we should not allow our situation to determine our response to that situation. (I’m the one who neeeds to hear these words, btw.)
I am in the exact same situation. It becomes a “why you and not me.” And when our daughter was an infant he did stay at home because he was laid off. However, he never commits to taking her to activities, playgroups, etc. the way I do. That really disappoints me and just leads to me being unhappy. He has finally agreed to allowing me only work part-time. I am hoping that he will see the benefits.
I’m surprised at the varied responses so far. I totally took your post to be advice for women that were desiring to stay home… not saying that SAHM is the only thing that God considers worthy. (Although I certainly believe that being in our home raising our children ourselves is the highest calling for a women and that it is a job to be taken seriously by men and women.)
I personally have a hard time with women that repeatedly desire to be at home yet are unwilling to alter their lifestyles to do so when their husbands would already support that decision. But while praying for them I also pray for myself that I would continue to have the same love and acceptance for them that Christ does.
Wow! Thanks for your powerful post. I will be praying for all of those in that situation. I understand…I was in that position before in my former marriage…and then I was a mom in a single parent home working toward following my call from God as much as I could at the time. Now I am so blessed with a husband who understands my hearts desire to be a SAHM. And he agrees that it is a Godly decision for us. Praying for all those who are struggling with this question…it can be a touchy one.
thank you for the voice of the many that want to be stay at home wife/mother. there are several you just spoke for. constantly praying….
Rhonda,
As I was reading the comments, I felt that people turned this into an argument for WAHM vs. SAHM’s. and what was biblical.
In the context that you wrote this:
“The purpose of the post was to specifically address women who have asked, “What do I do when I feel God’s will is for me to be home and my husband feels it is God’s will is for me to be in the workforce.
I was offering women in that situation encouragement and a plan to move forward instead of living a life of bitterness.”
I think it was a very encouraging, uplifting and biblical
article. There are many women who are being submissive to their husbands BY working and ARE in the will of God. This is an article that is a much needed source of encouragement!
God bless!
I am married to an unbeliever who doesn’t understand the concept of a SAMH. I submit to my husband as God has instructed me (which my husband doesn’t agree with either) and part of that involves working. I have, however made sure that the type of work I do offers flexibility when it comes to caring for sick children, time off for school holidays, attending important events in my childrens lives. As a result it has worked out ok and I praise the Lord for always being there guiding me through those tough moments that every mother faces.
Yes, of course I would love to be a SAHM (it is far less stressful than working full time) – but I am waiting on the Lord to provide, in the meantime he has given me a very good and safe job that meets our needs.
This is a very balanced article. Thankyou.
Also, my issue was not with the mothers’ choices on whether to stay home, my issue is with the title of your website, “Raising homemakers”, which shows a belief and intention to raise daughters only to work at home. This is a common cause of bitterness and division in families today, and unnecessarily so. Wouldn’t it be better to raise all our children to pray and seek God’s help for their OWN paths in life, rather than prescribing those paths for them? Imagine saying to your sons: “You will become kindergarten teachers (or construction workers, or doctors, etc.” It does not matter what you feel your true vocation is, nor what you may feel in your heart, nor what your abilities may be, nor whether you even get along with little children, but only that GOD says you must be a kindergarten teacher.” Would any of us do this to our sons? Heaven forbid! Yet here you are encouraging your own daughters to think of themselves as nothing but utilitarian workers designed to be the right-hand-men and Girl Fridays of the world, who must marry and watch their husbands and sons make names for themselves, with careers, and the ability to maintain their choice of lifestyles. Do you women ever look into the huge problem of abandoned, unskilled women in this country? I know I didn’t, until I became one of them.
Teach all your children how to be industrious, ladies. Send them to college if you can or encourage them to develop work and trade skills. And teach ALL of them to cook, clean and help maintain happy homes. Your daughters-in-law will bless you for it, and if your child is ever forced to be a single parent, whether male or female, they will be better equipped to handle the double load.
I read with interest your concerns about this website, namely,
“Yet here you are encouraging your own daughters to think of themselves as nothing but utilitarian workers designed to be the right-hand-men and Girl Fridays of the world, who must marry and watch their husbands and sons make names for themselves, with careers, and the ability to maintain their choice of lifestyles.”
Yes, we do believe in teaching our daughters that the role God has given them is a valued one indeed. When God created Eve in the very beginning, He created her from man to be a helper specifically for the man. That is part of how God uniquely made the woman, as a helpmeet. As a matter of fact, just because a woman is out in the workforce doesn’t mean she’s not helping a man succeed~she’s just usually helping someone other than her husband. The very fabric of who we are as women and the way God created us is why we have that desire to help. When my husband has a success in his life, part of that success is mine as well as we are one and together we take dominion on this earth. The truth of the matter is we don’t take on a demeaning or lesser role, just a different one.
I hope you will see that God wants women to be blessed, Kat, in the role He has given them. This website is dedicated to encouraging women to walk worthy of that calling and find joy in blessing this earth by blessing their families. May their tribe increase!
How does your view of women as helpmates play out if the woman is unmarried? Does she still need to seek out a way to help men? (You mentioned that it would be wrong to be serving men other than her own husband in the workforce, but that women are designed to do so.) I feel that the church today in our society mostly ignores the calling of singleness and does not make it very clear how this lifestyle should play out. In modern society, we do not really have convents or nunneries for the singles to go in order to serve God there in that capacity. The emphasis for Christians in this SAHM/WAHM mom debate is always based on marriage and family issues. Additionally, even if a woman (or man) is not called PERMANENTLY to a lifetime of singleness and celibacy, what if they do not marry right away in adulthood and need to support themselves for awhile while they wait for their future spouse to come along? In some conservative homeschooling families, the daughters will stay home working for the family business or such until they are married (no matter how old they become), but what about the others? Should women ever work outside the home in the workforce? I suppose, answering my own question, this might be similar to the single mothers concept that you referenced in a comment earlier?
Thanks.
I think that the whole point is that no matter if a women works outside the home, from home while being a SAHM or doesn’t bring any income in she is still called to be a “worker at home”. By raising our daughets to be workers at home we are enstilling them with the power and the skills to be able to run their households and bless thier husbands and children. If a women is not able to stay home full time for some reason beyond her control then she is still called to manage her household. It almost seems like you are arguing for not teaching our daughters these skills at all? Raising homemakers is not about being able to make the perfect dress or growing the best tomatoes around…it is rather about bringing glory to God and effectively managing one’s household. Whether or not they are employed outside the home. And infact I think the women who do work full time and have a family must be better equipped to run a household and family since she is in the house far less than a SAHM. I hope you know I do not write these things out of malise. I understand where you are coming from but wanted to let you know how I felt.
I know this wasn’t the point of your post but I’m in a completely opposite situation. I have been dating a wonderful man of faith but he wants his children to be homeschooled like he was. I finished college a year ago with a degree in education so it’s not like I’m scared I’ll be inadequate at teaching my own children (someday in the future, these are just discussions he and I have had), but I feel that teaching, especially in lower socio-economic areas like where I’ll be teaching this coming year, is my calling. The Lord has placed a strong desire in me to not only teach these children but to show them Christ’s love when they might not see that in their own home situations. So how do I reconcile that with my boyfriends wish that if our relationship continues this way and we get married and have kids that I be a stay at home mom?
I don’t intend this to be harsh but maybe God is not calling you to be a mother? Do you also feel a strong calling from God to have and raise a family? One of my friends was considering being a doctor and her mother advised her if that really is where God is calling her to then maybe God is not calling her to be a mother. Just a thought. Also you can also go back to teaching when your children are older. And I know it may seem a waste to homeschool when you are not used to it but just think you could be using the talents for teaching that God gifted you with to teach your future children who could all then go out into the mission field and God could use then for great works. You never know the paths God will use to use your gifts. Good luck, that is a very hard decision. One that will require a lot of prayer and dicussion.
God will lead you, and when you are listening to His will, he will bring you to the place where you need to be to glorify Him in each season of your life. When I entered college (to get my teaching degree) 11 years ago, I considered homeschooling as very un-Biblical, since I felt that children were not being witnesses in this situation. I intended to send my children to public school. Over the past 11 years, God has completely changed my heart in this area, and I am now a SAHM of 2 children, and I am preparing a preschool curriculum to homeschool my nearly 3-year-old son this fall! So, of course, if you and your boyfriend have different beliefs, you should definitely get that worked out before marriage rather than dealing with it for the rest of your lives, but I guess I’m just trying to say that God may change your heart, and if you’re willing, He will show you what He wants from you, whether He wants you to stay home or not. After teaching preschool and working in day cares for a couple of years, and the things I’ve seen there, too, I have since said that I would not put my child in a preschool, if I had a choice. And for me, I personally believe that when you have children, that becomes your #1 ministry, and the focus of your life for the few years that they are at home – but you need to listen to God and figure out what He wants for you!
Sorry, long answer – hope this was encouraging & helpful! 
Kat,
While I cant speak for everyone, I can for myself. I whole heartedly believe that being a homemaker is the best choice, most closely aligned with what scripture says. I am raising my little girl to be prepared for that.
That said, if she wants to go to college, she can. But, I would never dream of “sending” her (or my sons if I had any) to college. If she wants to go to college, great, if she wants to stay home, great, if she wants to get a job, great. But I would still rather she based her decision on scripture instead of on what she wants to do. What we desire is often more relation to things of man rather than the things of God.
If blesses me with any sons, they will learn to cook, do laundry, and clean. I am aware that even if my husband and I married young, that is not the norm, and I wouldnt want them to starve, stink, and live in a pigsty during their bachelor years.
As far as abandoned, unskilled women. That is part of our jobs as Christians, and as moms. As Christians we are to care for the poor, the widows and the orphans. As moms, we are to raise our children (in this case our sons) to care for their families, and to teach them not to abandon their families.
We will continue to raise our children based on scripture instead of based on pragmatism or on the feelings of our flesh.
Thank you so much for this post. I have been struggling with this since my first child was born 4 years ago. My husband is a non-believer but he supports me in my faith. I have always felt that it is God’s will that I stay home and raise our children and can’t understand why He hasn’t opened that door yet. This morning at church, our pastor spoke about submitting to the authority in your life. Then I read this article. Sometimes the Lord isn’t subtle.
I will keep praying.
Jo said:
“I am married to an unbeliever who doesn’t understand the concept of a SAMH.”
Where I’m from we have many Muslim friends and family members. I’d like to point out to you that the SAHM thing is not a Christian thing here. It is probably 50/50. And the Muslim SAHMs are putting us to shame. They’re industrious- have their own income working at home (even tho the motive for doing so may be different), they employ help for themselves, they’re excellent at hospitality and homemaking and their family philosophy, in general, sees family ie marriage and children as a blessing.
A related point- the women and girls are taught to value modesty. (Again, the motives may be different.)
Just a thought. Culture and tradition and what is Biblical are not all the same.
America may equate SAHM with Christainity. Others don’t.
One thing that I find a bit frustrating is the estimates of costs of working for a SAHM/SAHW. It doesn’t fit my situation or the situation of those I know very well at all.
My work at a university pays for about half of my train costs. I get a subsidy that pays all of my internet costs, providing that I work at home at least one day a week. In the summer, I come in one day a week or so, further reducing my commuting costs. Used clothing among my colleagues is not unusual; in fact, I usually wear jeans or simple, inexpensive skirts. In my department, we eat a free lunch together every day; it’s very simple, but healthy. I don’t have children, to be fair, but those here who do have children work on-site about 2 days a week. There is high quality subsidized care on the campus, too.
The costs of my working are very small. My husband and I live on one income. We use my income for savings, language lessons as we live in a non-English speaking country, and for charity. An economic argument for me to stay at home would not work. In fact, we would lose something that we find very valuable as Christians — the ability to be charitable with money and hospitality. Are others in this boat?
I SO enjoy being a SAHM to my two – I took my son to work with me (my husband is the program director at a Christian summer camp, and I was the part-time secretary – 10 hrs a week) – until my son was about 18 months old, and it was just too difficult to balance caring for an active boy and working in the office (plus my daughter was born in December, and I can’t imagine working with two of them in the office!) – now I help out at home as I can (I have some work calling my name as we speak), and I love it.
This post was an encouragement to me because this summer, I have had to go to camp for about 6 or 7 hours a week while a teenage staffer takes care of my kids (due to some unforeseen circumstances, my husband has needed help with youth camp registration and paperwork, which I know how to handle)- and it has just solidified in my mind the calling that God has for me at home – of course I love being involved at camp, and being able to support and help my hubby and work alongside him, but I LOVE being at home, and welcoming him to a clean house and a happy home each evening. Sometimes God has to shake us up a little bit to remind us that the path He’s chosen for us truly is a blessing!
As far as the financial aspect, I never really got paid much for any of the work I’ve done at camp (it’s a family ministry), so that hasn’t really been a facet of me working that we’ve had to deal with. Of course we sacrifice so that I can stay home, but it’s so worth it. And when you follow God’s will for your life, the blessings will RAIN down on you – we’ve had it happen SO many times!
Kat,
I have to say that it is hard to hear that we might not be living out God’s calling for us. It is a very personal and painful thing to feel that someone is judging your spiritual walk on a life choice that doesn’t seem “black and white.” With the help of the Holy Spirit, we can take these things in stride and really think them through.
I love watching people. I love talking to people. All kinds of people. I work part time as a RN, and I have to share a conversation that I had just 2 days ago. An unsaved friend approached me and told me that she is sick and tired of her husband. She hates that she has spent the last 30 years of her life working and raising 4 kids. She gets very little help at home, and as a result she is extremely bitter and says that she no longer loves her husband. She is hoping to meet someone who will sweep her off her feet and carry her away into the storybook romance that she envisioned as a girl.
On the other hand, I have a Christian friends who are having terrible struggles with their kids. Problems like pornography, homosexuality, hateful attitudes, etc. They can’t understand why. However, they are separated from their kids all day by the public school system, and they both work or go to college full time.
On the extreme other side, I have a group of family and friends who don’t have these problems with their kids. The wives do not hate their husbands. They are content being at home with their kids…AND they feel that this is what God has called them to. They are the happiest people I know. Their kids are too.
So, for me the proof has always been in the results. When I look at my career friends and my stay at home mom friends, it isn’t hard to see what I want for my family. This is not to say that it is impossible to work and raise Godly kids. It is harder. I work a few days a week. It is HARD to come home to a messy house or a sink full of dishes and not feel the bitterness my first dear friend feels.
We are desperate to live as the culture lives that we are unwilling to make what we see as sacrifices. My intent was always to quit work when I had kids. Unfortunately, I was not responsible enough to save and cannot afford to quit at the moment. I pray for the day that I can. The Holy Spirit has changed my heart into one that is content to be at home with my kids, for my husband, and to live out my high calling as a mother.
2 Timothy 3:16 “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;”
Great posts Kat! You display a level of thoughtfulness and analytic thinking not often found in discussions like this.