How Does One “Make a Home” Anyway?

by Kelly on August 2, 2010 in Nurture, Purpose

The term “homemaker” was once the obvious profession of choice for a wife and mother.  It was thought that the home was vitally important and thus, someone must be in charge of “making” it.

Years later, many women despise the question, “So what do you do?” and find it feels degrading to say, “I’m a homemaker”.

One can only conclude that “homemaker” feels like a degrading profession because our culture mostly has a degrading view of home.  Do we even realize that’s the logical reality?  Do we even know how low a value we have placed on the home?  And why can’t we make the connections between so many of our societal ills and the moving away from the value of home?

When home was valued, and therefore women were proud to be “homemakers”, what did the home look like?  More importantly, what should it look like now?

Helper Wife

A proper, biblical view of marriage understands that a wife delights to help her husband.  It is not a degrading position.  We all help people, no matter what profession we’re in.  An attorney helps his clients; a teacher helps her students and principal; employees all seek to help their employers.  But talk of “helping a husband” is not a favorite topic.  A godly wife, however, sees her position as her husband’s helper a privilege and she knows that obedience to her Lord means obedience to her role.  Does she manage her home so that “he safely trusts her”?  Can he concentrate on his role as provider knowing that his “teammate” is doing her part to make the family run smoothly?  Does he know that she is giving herself the task of training their children to grow up with the skills they need?

Mother

Perhaps the most challenging and engaging role of a home-maker is shaping the little ones in her home.  It helps me to step back from time to time, look at that 4-year-old and envision a grown woman.  Am I investing in her life, her time, her very soul?  The next generation is the one in whom we invest or neglect.  Either way, the responsibility falls on us.  Do we comprehend the import of our role to train their characters, to teach them of God and to prepare them for all of life?  Could there be anything more worthy of our time and energy?

Friend

Women of yesteryear had time to invest in the lives of other women.  Younger mothers, widows, family members–she made herself available for reaching out to the needs of others.  Could it be that the declining state of women’s mental health could be due in part to the lack of community and support women once received from each other?

A few of her jobs

Besides her titles, her jobs are numerous and powerful.  Over the years, less value has been placed on seemingly unimportant things that make a home, but there are profound implications for the empty homes their neglect has created.  Just a few…

  • Ministering to family and guests through meals around a family table where people look at each other, discuss life, and connect each day.
  • Creating an atmosphere of serenity.  A homemaker adds her own touch through music, candles, flowers, decorating or maybe just her smile.  In a day of clamor and chaos, a safe, peaceful place in which a family can seek harbor is a rare treasure.
  • Peace through “being there”.  Ask a child what he most needs and if he is able, he’ll answer “time”.  Is she there when he needs to ask a question?  When he has an injury?  When he is sad and needs a lap?  A hug?  Or, is she simple there–like a soothing balm of reassurance, even when he’s in the other room? There is no one that takes a mother’s place in creating this constant “being there” peace in her child’s life.
  • Offering her gifts and services to those in need.  Our lack of availability has created the need for a “nanny state” to care for so many needs that once the women of the community and churches cared for.

In a society where homemaking has become little more than a 50’s icon, perhaps through our zeal we can demonstrate to those around us the joy and privilege of making home.  And just maybe, women will begin to “make it back home”!

Kelly

Kelly is the blessed wife to Aaron and mom to nine children (and one showing up soon). She and her husband enjoy a bustling life, home-educating and operating several family businesses. Between diapers, searching for bull frogs in the house (a science experiment gone bad) and homemaking for the glory of God, she shares her thoughts at Generation Cedar.

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{ 15 comments }

Rachel August 2, 2010

oh, i love this!

stef August 2, 2010

I loved this post! I am a “homemaker” and feel quite blessed to be able to be a full time homemaker. I do the same thing with both my girls and the reaction is the same as you “she is going to be a woman someday! Am I giving her good, solid, biblical preparation?”

Good post – thanks!

Jennifer August 2, 2010

Amen Kelly,
I’m going to share this with my friends. Thank you for a wonderful post.
Blessings

Jamie M August 2, 2010

Awesome post and a great way to start my week!! 🙂

Amy August 2, 2010

I LOVE this post! Thank you! Yes indeed, a great way to start the week!

Heather August 2, 2010

It is incredible that we were just discussing the 31st chapter of Proverbs yesterday in Sunday school and then today I read this posting from you. Was that your inspiration?

Thanks so much for sharing such a great post. Though I don’t find that people see my role as a homemaker as less. Most, including women seem to automatically attribute the role as a homemaker as a huge responsibility and I suppose it is the maternal feminist in me that keeps my head held high that I am doing what God would have me do. “In the early years, a child’s needs to be with his mother is as intense as his need for food.” LLLI.

Anna August 2, 2010

Yes, I think one of the most important ways to argue for homemaking today is to talk about children, especially young children. Someone has to watch them. Having worked in daycares, I know firsthand that is not the ideal setting! And why would you pay someone else to have more time and influence over your children than you do during the week? If it’s at all possible, I think it’s wonderful for the mother to be the one to stay home with her children. My mom did, and I felt exactly that peace and security you described having her always near.

Tiffany August 2, 2010

Thank you for this post! I am going to share this on my facebook page for my friends and family to read. It is such a blessing to know others share my believe in what a home should be & what a mother should be.

Jen August 2, 2010

also tricky to find the time while homemaking to strengthen and support younger moms in their roles, yet, I think we’re supposed to try to do this…

Mary Joy @Seeds of Encouragement Sewn with Grace August 2, 2010

What a wonderful post! And so true!!!! God have given us an amazing gift in our role as homemakers…and any gift given to us by God is never something to be ashamed of even when society may not always understand it. 🙂

Jami August 2, 2010

Oh this is truly a wonderful post! I am NEVER disappointed when I read all your new posts. Thanks for sharing this! I will of course be passing this along to everyone I know! 🙂 Thanks!!

Michelle @ Traditional Simplicity August 2, 2010

Thank you for such a wonderful post! I love reading things that affirm our decision for me to be a homemaker. I just wish our finances would release the guilt from me to make additional income. I really do think we need a calling “back to home.” We definitely live is a society where it is not readily accepted, especially to be “raising homemakers.”

Becky @ Our Peaceful Home August 2, 2010

I really enjoyed this post! So true that our society doesn’t value the home any longer. And what a tragedy it has brought with it! It is such a blessing to stay at home with your children. My heart breaks when women don’t see it that way. Thanks for the inspiration.

Crystal August 2, 2010

what a great post. very incouraging. thanks!

Mariah August 8, 2010

I really enjoyed this post. I even mentioned it in one of my blog posts. Thanks!

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