To become good at any skill requires practice. As I said before in my previous post, I have had to grow a lot in this area and still need to grow. But the more I practice opening my home, the less apprehensive I become in showing hospitality. So the first step is to begin, even in a small way, sharing your home with others. But let’s get practical~what hinders you from doing that?
Most of us are afraid of what our homes look like on any given day due to the fact we actually have people living in our home-sometimes lots of people, many of them little! And we know that means messes! So while we don’t want the focus to be on a spotless home, we don’t want our guests afraid to use the toilet either:)
Something that has helped me and countless other women I know who practice hospitality on a regular basis is a daily “clean-over” of key areas in the home. If you have children toddler age and up, they should be a part of keeping your house in order. If everyone has a “job” they are responsible for~it takes a lot of stress off mom and keeps the house in a workable condition. Each day, morning preferably, assign a task to each child to accomplish such as sweeping, cleaning the toilet/sink area,sweeping the front entryway/steps, doing up the dishes, etc. These are key areas you want to keep presentable in case of last minute guests. A wise lady who was very accomplished in opening her home taught me the principle of making sure key areas are always ready–such as the bathroom(one that will be used by guests)and the dining/kitchen area. If you can’t get to the bedroom, shut the door–for the most part, that is not a part of the house guests will be in–same with laundry room~contrary to the notion that all wash has to be done before company can be invited in(ha-ha–I really used to feel this way:)
So choose key areas~don’t forget the entryway and daily assign someone to go over this area and keep it reasonably presentable.
Now, if you struggle with organization, this will be a little difficult, but you can train yourself to have a place for everything–even if its a box for papers, etc. Train everyone in your household to replace things when they are done using them–this eliminates 1/2 of the problem of keeping areas clean.
Notice there is some training of children involved in showing hospitality–if all you have are very small children, lower your expectations–there are seasons in life and it may be that now is not the time to focus on having guests a lot. Well behaved children who obey you will go a long way in paving the road for future opening of your home. It has been such a blessing to work together as a family now that my children are getting older~it becomes a team effort to get our home ready for others and it teaches our children that life does not revolve around them.
If you are very tired every time you show hospitality, chances are you are doing too much and not using that wonderful little word……..delegation! After the “party” is over, does everyone pitch in and help? This has worked very well for us as I always dreaded the next morning, knowing I would have a large amount of cleaning to do to get the house back in order. Now, more often than not, all of us pitch in after we host an event, and the house gets back in order within an hour or two~Wow~this takes a load off of mom! Remember, we are managers of our homes and that means delegating tasks to everyone so everyone has a part to play and are important contributors to the family vision. Another suggestion I would like to give you is involve your husband~ask him what his expectations are and ask him to help you spot trouble areas that need to change. My husband is great at this, but I have to ask and tell him where I am struggling. Our husbands need to know we need their input and guidance in this area. Men are great problem solvers and sometimes we women will agonize over something that in two minutes they have a solution for. Don’t you love the way God made them;)
Last of all, something that keeps us from opening our homes is the panic that sets in when we realize we have nothing ready to feed our guests~a great way to solve this problem is to go through your menus~pick 4 or 5 options that are quick to fix(1/2 hour or less)and keep those key ingredients in stock at all times. I have a chicken soup I like to make that literally takes me about 20 minutes to whip up if I keep canned chicken on hand to make it. Add some frozen rolls and you have a meal. Don’t be afraid to deviate from cooking everything from scratch for emergency quick meals–sometimes, we just place too high of expectations on ourselves and the stress robs us of all the joy in opening our homes to others. It’s ok to use Ragu sauce if we don’t have time to make spaghetti sauce from scratch because our missionary friends popped into town and need a quick meal. They’ll remember the blessing of your friendship more than the meal itself~so go ahead, invite them in–let them join in the routine for the day and share what you have–some of those unexpected visits turn out to be the best ever!